Ex still can upset me.... itwillgetbetter: How do you let go of these feelings. My ex just called on the cell phone. I knew it was him even though it came in as caller unidentified. I didn't answer it. My hands are sweaty, my heart is racing and I feel sick to my stomach. He wants to send me info on the divorce.
How can he possibly still have this effect on me?? I can't call him back it is too upsetting.
I talked with him last night and he said he doesn't expect things to work with his gf. Is he telling me this to keep me in his hip pocket? He tells me he loves me but he just wasn't happy. I feel so humiliated that my marriage did not work and yet I know there are millions of people out there that are divorced and I don't look at them as losers.
We were only married a couple years and it was rocky throughout the marriage. How long does this terrible feeling last? I feel too old to find someone, remarry and have children (we didn't have any) so I feel in the middle of a mid-life crisis too.
Thank you for this bulletin board. All your posts are so helpful to me.
Re: Ex still can upset me.... JASPER: There is no reason for you to feel humiliated.This thing happens quite often more often than we'd like.I don't know what his purpose was for telling you the little info about it not working out with the ow,but try not to read to much into it cause thats probably what he wants you to do.I don't understand why you think your to old to start over my mom is 49 and she has just started her life anew and loving it very much.Sometimes I am green with envy.She gets out meets people have more dates than me and I'm 27.I know it is hard now and somedays you want to crawl under a rock BUT IT WILL GET BETTER hence your name.
Re: Ex still can upset me.... down2basics: You picked the name "itwillgetbetter" - why? Do you believe it? Well...you should - because it is true...it does get better. Time is the great healer!
Letting go is the 10 million dollar question right now...no one has a simple answer to that question. I don't know either, even though I've read countless articles on detachment. You have to decide to let go when the time is right for you.
This is a long, painful, tormenting road you are on. As time passes though, your independece will grow and you will feel more and more human and more and more confident in you when you realize that if you can survive this...you can survive anything! Promise!
Live today for today. Don't look at the past and second guess yourself (again, the blind leading the blind here!) and move forward making decisions based on what will be best for you. Take the divorce papers, read over them and make sure you will be okay after this bloody battle is done. Stand up for yourself. Be strong and know that this too shall pass.
Hugs!!
d2b
