Re:Rebuilding Trust OldSchool: I probably did tie in these two topics closely together. It can be two separate things cause rebuilding trust is definitely on an individual basis. The direct result of a lack of trust would be to try and 'control' the situation.
It's a confusing topic, but there does seem to be some very simplistic solutions to be able to achieve trust in myself again. In part, there was a disillusionment in my head that fully gave everything to my ex. In part, I didn't trust myself enough to totally open up to her all of the time. If that makes any sense. :-\
There's a part of digging through what went wrong in my marraige where I stopped pinning the blame solely on her or on myself and just realized that the loved just fizzled out. It was dead, because both of us stopped feeding each other the necessary things to keep it going.
One of those things has to be trusting myself fully to open up everything that's on my mind. That in itself was scary to me to accept as something that I came short of. Not only would I do that in my marraige, but also would carry that part in my job, relationship with friends, etc... Kind of pattern developed that was something I knew had to change.
If this doesn't make any sense or I'm just rambling then this thread is totally my bad... it could be just my brain spooling a bunch of crap.
OS
Re:Rebuilding Trust Sad Eyes: OS~
I bet there isn't a person here who doesn't completely understand where you are coming from. It's hard to learn to trust again but sometimes I think we can over do it with just the "Thinking about it" part. Sometimes we just need to open ourselves up wide and let what happens happen. It sounds scary but once you do it it's almost like a high...especially if you are doing it with the right person. There is nothing in the world like getting to know somebody for the first time. There is such an emotional and yet intimate feeling you can share with someone when you learn to trust again. To deny ourselves that kind of feeling is wrong....it is so wonderful!!! I personally can't wait until I can share that with another. Even though I have issues with trust also I would like to think that when that person comes along that I can't get off my mind.... that I won't hold myself back. If it feels right open up and remind yourself that you might get hurt or it might not work out but don't dwell on that just keep it there in the back of your head. In the mean time....Enjoy the feeling of just opening and trusting another again. That is all you can do.
And never forget to enjoy and remember....this is suppose to be fun!!!
One more very important thing here....Always remember to trust in yourself that you will be okay....even it you do get hurt. I think that may be the most important thing here. :)
SE
