An unanticipated reaction to other people's divorce tara: Before my own divorce, when people told me they were splitting up, I was able to offer sympathy, support, moving help, whatever, and keep a clear head about me. I mean, it's not that I didn't feel bad for them -- I did -- but it was more detached. Kind of the same way you feel bad for someone who's got the flu -- wanting them to be well, maybe making them some soup, but not getting depressed over it.
Now, though, news of other people's divorces just knocks me down. I found out yesterday that an acquaintence of mine was splitting from her husband. Now, I know from my own experience that just because everything looks perfect from the outside doesn't mean the marriage is healthy, so I refrained from the "oh, I'm so shocked, you seemed happy!" reaction. For all I know, they both could have been cheating for years.
But, I've felt like I've been punched in the gut ever since I got the news. And these aren't even good friends, just business acquaintenances.
Anyone else experience this?
Re:An unanticipated reaction to other people's divorce Sittingbear: An aquantiance is just a friend waiting to happen...
sittingbear
Re:An unanticipated reaction to other people's divorce JimB: Guess I'm not the most empathetic guy in the world. My reaction is usually more along the lines of a sardonic "Welcome to the club." ::)
Re:An unanticipated reaction to other people's divorce snowyheart: It could be tara, that you understand how deep the pain of divorce is. And therefore have hightened sympathy for someone who is getting ready for the ride of their lives. Could be that, it hurts to see divorce all around you, as if marriage is a lost institution.
I dunno, just some thoughts.
bye
snowyheart
Re:An unanticipated reaction to other people's divorce LostTeacher: i know that my reactions have changed. i used to think "that will never happen to me." i would see people together for a very short time, married, and divorced right away. i thought, that because we had been together for so long, that this couldn't possibly happen to me.
now that we are seperated, i do see things different. people used to look at us as the "perfect" couple. dated since high school, voted "most likely to get married", one of the first of our friends to get married, owned two houses, a dog, a good vehicle, all our family lived near.
but things weren't perfect. and i think that for a long time i pretended that it was. now i view things differently. everyone has their problems. and no one can fix those problems except the people involved. when i talk to people now, i am more there to listen. i don't expect everyone to know what to say to me anymore than i know what to say to make them feel better. sometimes an ear is all they are really looking for. it's what i tell my friends, that i don't expect answers all the time... sometimes i just need someone to hear me rant, and then i am better.
it for sure changes your view on things though.
Click More for the next page.
