Feeling the fear CPmommy:
Lately I've been in really a very melancholy mood (missing all my Chicago friends :'(). Today I went home for lunch and it just hit me - I am getting DIVORCED! And, out of nowhere, I got really scared.
Yes, this is what is best for me and my children. Yes, I am the one who initiated this. Yes, the man drives me absolutely crazy. BUT - I'm still scared. Scared of whether I'll be able to provide for my children, scared of being alone, just scared of change, I guess.
I know rationally that I will be OK, really I do. But it's really rainy and gloomy here today and I'm feeling sorry for myself. So there. :)
Re:Feeling the fear LostTeacher: totally can relate.
the idea of change is scary for anyone...but espeically when you had your life sort of planned out, and now, it's going in a totally different direction.
i am going through the same thing too. i am scared, and maybe that's why i am trying so hard to hold onto someone who is trying so hard to let go. i just want that old life back again, so i can feel comfortable. where i don't have to have all my spare time planned out so that i am not going crazy alone.
but life shouldn't be just "comfortable". it should be exciting, and fun, and loving, and different, and....safe. that's what i want....not just comfortable.
so i guess the long way around should be....yes i know the feeling of being scared, but we are allowed to feel sorry for ourselves sometimes, and it's ok! ;)
Re:Feeling the fear jen: Of course you're scared - if you weren't, it wouldn't be normal!
I had a moment really similar to this as I was packing up and getting ready to move - it hit me that my life and everything about it is real. I would describe it as an awake moment, when I wasn't doing what needed to be done and taken care of, just feeling. Then, WHAM, a moment of clarity.
It's because you're scared that you will think things through and do your absolute best to make sane decisions for you and your kids...and to make sure that you are OK. It's okay to just feel and let yourself BE where you are at today. There is no way around it, you have to just go through it.
You're doing GREAT!!!!!!!!!
btw, I miss you, too!
mtmo/scs
* edited to add - ((((((((((((big hugs))))))))))))
Re:Feeling the fear allmixedup: [size=20"> BIG HUGS[/size">
Maybe I shouldn't get too close. I may get hit in the face. :P
Sorry you are feeling down. That was me a couple days ago. I'm sure you will be ok soon. We all have bad days. :)
Kin
Re:Feeling the fear teacherwriterguy: Hey TWGIH -
If it helps - I can share my "I had that moment" story too. Actually, I had my "OMG this is real" moment the night before the Chicago Ojar weekend. Coming out to meet all of you just really made me realize that my life was really changing - and that's an overwhelming and sometimes frightening thought.
Just b/c you know on one hand that you are going to be ok, doesn't make it any less of a change or any less scary.
*HUG* Hopefully, if the Cubs game stops getting postponed, Mark Prior will make you forget all about being worried. :)
twg
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