lonely but not for the X helplessness: Today, I feel really lonely. Ive analysed for not two long about whether Im missing my man. But no, I've spoken to him today via MSN and all is ok in his world. He seems to be getting a little better, wanting to socializing (art classes, kickboxing) under the wing of his mom. He has decreased his medication and sleeping naturally for the first time in 6 months. We are staying friends, but keeping a distance for a while (?????) whilst we resolve our own issues.
So, Im not missing him or worrying. BUT I'M LONELY. I've been to work and socialized, this afternoon I met a friend and her child at Starbucks and had a good gossip. Not about my relationship for once. Called at my parents on the way home, all is well there. Its nice to have them back after 3 months. Watched my fav tv programs and played/walked the dog. But all during that time, I felt lonely.
Is this part of moving on.....
Ive started swimming twice weekly, and go to a dance class. What with chores and the amount of sleep I need at the moment, I dont feel I can fit anything else.
so why am I lonely?????????
Re:lonely but not for the X LettinGo: I don't think it matters how 'full' our lives are, we can still feel lonely. I have an 8 yr old and 2 yr old twins, work FT, volunteer on a Board of Directors, etc. etc. etc. and still usually feel lonely DURING all of this. And, it definitely isn't longing for my STBX, but companionship in general that I am lacking.
Hmm ... I am certainly no help, huh? ???
Well, you certainly aren't alone.
Good for you for getting out there and doing things. Hugs, Kelly
Re:lonely but not for the X teacherwriterguy: I struggled with this one too - I tried to remind myself that I had daily companionship during my marriage and that's going to feel really different to live without it. No amount of other classes or clubs or activities is exactly going to replicate what it was like to come home to someone else in the house, to a partner.
It's hard to handle at times, but I don't think there's a magic fix for it - and I'd worry about overstretching or overfilling your schedule to try to compensate for that lack. I think it's good that you are keeping busy but also knowing your own limits too.
twg
Re:lonely but not for the X Druid13: I am hitting a wall with this also lately. Somedays I am happy with working...going to the gym three days a week...biking..playing drums in two bands...teaching a drumline.....some days I crave compainionship again. But I am taking my time with it all. I try to look at what I am doing as positive....even if I do feel really tired somedays. I feel I am building my own self reliance and confidence by pushing myself in this manner. Hey alot of people sit around with the remote doing nothing. My brother said life has a series of tests and sometimes you gotta go thru the rough stuff to grow as a human being...I think he is right and I think some never grow. I am trying to look at this positively because the alternative sucks...
Re:lonely but not for the X timetobefree: [quote author=teacherwriterguy link=board=6;threadid=10024;start=0#msg79839 date=1113337580">
No amount of other classes or clubs or activities is exactly going to replicate what it was like to come home to someone else in the house, to a partner.
[/quote">
twg hit the nail on the head. That is so the truth. Going out with friends or volunteering is fun, but then you still have to come home to an empty house. Learning to adjust your lifestyle to appreciate some of that is the trick. How you do that is beyond me! I am not one of those people that likes being alone, so it has been a huge adjustment for me. Even though I am now dating someone, he lives 1.5 hours from me, so I still have the empty-house syndrome, although not so much the loneliness syndrome. The only thing that really helped me early on was to remember how lonely I was even when we were married. Even though he was there physically, I was so alone emotionally. In some ways, that was harder than not having him at all. In fact, I take that back, it was harder to know he didn't want to emotionally/mentally be with me.
HTH,
Amy ;D
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