Running for President browngreen: Since I moved out in December, I have been very in tune with exactly how much more there is to life than being married. THere's so much I want to do, so much I need to do to say I lived the life I always wanted.... and now, I'm going to do them. It's semi- like I have an obligation to myself.
Everything my H taught me, I can still do. I was sad for a long time before because I thought I"d miss out on the things he and I did together.... but now I see that just because he won't be part of it doesn't mean I can't keep doing it on my own.
The marathon training is a small part of this, but each night I go to bed thinking about what I want to accomplish in this life. The funny thing is that having a career isn't one of the things on my to do list. There's SO much else to do than work~!
There's learning a second language, there's taking a LookOut Post over the summer, there's sewing, becoming a better swimmer, hiking the continental divide, singing, volunteering at the hospital...
I'm so motivated to DO these things. I have already started on the swimming and the marathon, and I start volunteering at the hospital next month!
I guess the word is "inspired".
Also, I'm coming to terms with the fact that it doesn't look like I'll have a family (you know, with a small child and husband and I under one roof), and I'm OK wiht that. I always thought I wanted a second baby, but now it really doesn't matter if I have one or not. Life has blessed me with so much more...!
O yeah, I'll be running for president in 2020. Vote for me!
BG
Re:Running for President snowyheart: Good for you bg. Be inspired! And do everything your heart desires. Because when you look back, you don't want to be one of those people who regrets not living the life they always wanted, taking the risks they knew they should've taken. You want to look back and know that you lived, really lived, and that you didn't work your life away only to find out that it didn't mean sh!t. You've got 80-95 years on this earth. Don't waste em'.
And don't give up on the family and second child. Life can change really fast sometimes.
snowyheart
Re:Running for President tyrogers: You got my vote girl!!!!!!!!!!!!
luv ya!
BBH
Re:Running for President browngreen: Snowy-
Hey thanks for the encouragement. I know it COULD happen, but I'm OK if it doesn't. Used to be that the thought that I"d never have a daughter could bring tears to my eyes.
Silly me, I had a mental picture of having a daughter that was so strong, I felt like I already have her and know who she is, I just needed to give birth to her. I actually talked to her.
Now, it's like she's gone. She decided she wasn't waiting around anymore!!!!
It's strange. It's not like I'm repressing the desire because it hurts too much to want something so seemingly impossible at this point. It's more like I've realized "This is my life. IT's me, and my son, cats and dog, and WE are IT. THis is the family I have, and the family I know I can count on" and somehow I stepped up to the plate that this is all there is, and I'm up for this being all there is.
Anyway, my son is 10 and I'm loving the independence.
If I were to get remarried to someone who maybe doesn't want kids, but we ended up having one, then I think I could have another baby. But I can't see myself consciously deciding to have another baby, even if I was married to the most wonderful man there is.
BBH--
THank you!I'll be counting on it! And you know when I'm on the debate trail in the south, I'll give your kids some candy! ANd kiss your grandmother!
LOL
BG
Re:Running for President snowyheart: hey bg,
I like your outlook on things. It's important to keep it real. Getting your independence back is so important. I stopped doing all the things I loved to do when my ex left. Now, like you, I've got a fresh outlook on life. I'm back outdoors a lot now, and I don't mind doing it alone, just like before I was married.
Yep, what you have now, is what you have. But I really like the idea of hope. Hope that the dreams in our heart with come true. We can dream.
I wish you all the peace and happiness your heart could want.
snowyheart
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