Re:new dating situation - please help LostTeacher: i would also really like to know how this went...
i know that i have been in this situation before... but on the other side. :P
i am a total spaz when it comes to the talking thing. maybe it's because it was always so hard to talk to my stbxh, to reach him on his phone, to get him to talk about anything. so i know that made me a bigger pain, because the more that he wouldn't talk, the more i would try to reach him.
so i would just tred carefully with this one... she might be suffering from the same thing. i think that was evident when she said that she is afraid of being abandoned or hurt or whatever she said. this might be the cause of the clingyness.
but above all, though, i would suggest you be honest, because that will save a lot of heartache in the long run.
Re:new dating situation - please help cosmochick222: i have 2 words for you: SET BOUNDARIES!
start by saying how special she is and how you want this relationship to unfold beautifully but gradually. then start talking about how you just want to relax after work, "decompress" in front of the tv and that you'll just call her in a few hours maybe? assure her that you're not going anywhere, that you just want to be. period. suffocation at a very early stage is alarming. >:( if you give in to calling her when she wants you to call her, you're allowing her to change your pace, you know what i mean?
i hope she's not looking for a replacement father for her kids.
good luck.
Re:new dating situation - please help teacherwriterguy: [quote"> For example, instead of "you're calling me too much", say "I'm a little freaked by how much you're calling me." [/quote">
Yipes - I wouldn't want to hear, "I'm a little freaked out by how much you are calling me."
Hmm...
What about:
"I really have been so happy that you and I have found what we've found, but I also realized that I need a little time and space on my own - I'm still sorting things out from the divorce - and I absolutely want to keep seeing each other, but I need to have a little distance too to make sure that I'm ok and that the pace doesn't seem too intense for me."
Or something like that?
Of course the convo has probably already happened :)
twg
Re:new dating situation - please help JimB: [quote author=teacherwriterguy link=board=6;threadid=10053;start=0#msg80714 date=1113516796">
Yipes - I wouldn't want to hear, "I'm a little freaked out by how much you are calling me."
[/quote">
It was just an example - far be it from me to put words in anyone's mouth. :P
It's a matter of personal taste, I suppose. I'd rather be direct about what is bothering me. If the person I'm speaking to is too fragile to handle that, well, we weren't going to last very long anyway.
