Re:new dating situation - please help Chey: DSXH,
I think if you want this to work (and you obviously do), then honesty is the way to go, for both of you. It's ok to tell her your needs, just as you would hope she would tell you hers, and if there is anything she feels YOU could do to help her.
It's all in the approach. Sit down with her, tell her everything that's going right, let her know where you think you need a bit of a change, and reassure her that you arn't going anywhere, but that you want and need space. Besides which getting that little bit of breathing room will make you miss each other more, and there's nothing more exciting than that :)
let her know you arn't going anywhere, you have no intentions of dating anyone else, you just need to slow the pace down, and appreciate this in the stage that it's in.
You'll do fine :) Congrats on finding someone that you're obviously feeling very happy with.
Chey
Re:new dating situation - please help Bubba: Can't say I have ever been in this situation. Not that I have not had a girl I am dating talk to me constantly (right Ty? LOL), I simply enjoy it. Of course I also talk to much so another talker never bothers me!! LOL. However, as the ladies said above, you just need to talk to her. I would do it in person though, perhaps over dinner. You can say I love how you call me so much, but I am getting scared because I think we may be moving to fast. You have quickly become somone special to me, and I don't want to mess it up. So I was thinking that in order to slow it down a bit, we should not constantly talk to each other. I am not saying not talking everyday, because I do love to talk to you, just not 4 or 5 times day. I just don't want to risk screwing things up." Blah blah Blah
Cheers,
Bubba
Re:new dating situation - please help tyrogers: I'm sorry...was that a jab at me??? :P I think everyone here has made good points and given good advice. Believe it or not, you will know how to word it when the time comes. Trust me.
BBH
Re:new dating situation - please help Smiley17: Whoa!!! Too much calling!!!
I'd be very gentle with her. It seems as if she has kind of a low self esteem and really, really likes you. She's probably really scared that she's going to lose you too.
Why not try gently telling her that you want this "new" feeling to last a long time and if there are constant calls, it'll fade too fast.
Tell her that it's nice to miss her and if she can cut the calls down by just half, it'll be great because then you'll have more to say to her and your conversations will have a much higher quality.
This is complicated, so you really do have to be gentle, but you're such a gentle and receptive person, I'm sure you'll do really well.
Wow, I hope this helps!! Good Luck!!
-KB
Re:new dating situation - please help JimB: Have you had the talk? How did it go?
I was going to suggest that the key point to remember in discussions like these is to make it about you, not about her. For example, instead of "you're calling me too much", say "I'm a little freaked by how much you're calling me." It really is about you and your comfort level, after all, so if you express yourself that way, it will be very difficult for her to take offense. Especially if you intersperse it with several "I really really like you and your kids".
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