Re:I'm amazed... Sad Eyes: Deep Ocean~
First off....the weather is beautiful here too! I love spring!!!
Second....35 or 46....you are only off by a few years right? ;)
Third.....Welcome to ojar! You found a good place to come and get advice and heal. :)
Okay...now to the serious stuff here. Deep Ocean, Love shouldn't be like this especially after only 3 months!!! You guys should still be in your honeymoon period...what happens when you guys have serious issues? You said right away how you knew she wasn't the one and how it couldn't work for the both of you ....so what are you doing? Really? You deserve better than that. It sounds like she has some really bad mood swings. It's scary when people rage out of control like that. It makes me wonder if she has some mood/chemical imbalances that causes her to rage so out of control like that. You keep talking about all the good times but all I am hearing about are the bad times. It's sounds like the bad times are out weighing the good now and maybe this should be your warning sign that it's time to distance yourself now.
Love shouldn't be like this...especially when it's suppose to be so fresh and new!
Hope you make the right decisions for yourself...you should be enjoying yourself right now and enjoying getting to know her. It's sounds like too much drama for anyone. Take time for yourself....and maybe you should suggest the same to her. :-\
Everybody deserves better than that! :)
Wishing you all the best!
SE
Re:I'm amazed... DeepOcean: I'd like to thank everyone for the warm welcome... I thought I might get banned for barging in here.. but this is a great forum and I appreciate the support.
There have been lots of good times, the weekend spent paddling the ACE basin, watching the bike races at Daytona, Easter brunch at her mother's, sitting by the fire at the cabin on the river, freezing our butts trying to catch a fish in the Ocean in Feb. Hanging with our friends.
The rages are scary, very scary and totally out of charactor. They come on regardless of alcohol consumption. I agree it must be a mood/chemical imbalance issue. But one of the things that initially attracted me to her was that her medicene cabinet was nearly devoid of prescription drugs. I had come from a marriage that was full of anti-depressants and alcohol, I thought I had finally found someone that didn't need a pill to be able to get out of bed. The reality is this one makes my ex-wife look sane.
I am distancing myself, fortunately, around here an almost single mid-forties male with a decent job is a hot commodity. It just takes a couple days for word to get around and the phone to start ringing.
I'm just so sad that such an investment in heart, soul, time and $ can get thrown away so quick.
Re:I'm amazed... jillieb44: Don't beat yourself up over this. The only way to get to know someone is to spend time with him/her. You spent 3 months, and you discovered something about her that you can't live with. Be glad you found out now than after getting married again (if that's even in your plans).
I've got a 4th & 5th date planned this weekend with a sweet guy, so we'll see how it goes. I'd hope that by 3 months into it I'd know if it was going to work out (longer term, that is, not marriage, LOL) or not. But it's been fun getting to know him.
Jillie
Re:I'm amazed... slowlearner: Hi DO,
If I'd written the story of my relationship with my ex bf after only three months, it would have been alarmingly similar to yours. There are only a few minor differences.
I wrote a bit about it here:
http://www.ojar.com/boards/index.php?board=1;action=display;threadid=9786;
It's over now, and even though I miss him like h3ll some times, I know I'm better off without him. I didn't see it as clearly as you do, but all the signs were there.
I hope you can make the right decision, and maybe save yourself some heartache.
Good luck.
Re:I'm amazed... DeepOcean: I wrote a bit about it here:
http://www.ojar.com/boards/index.php?board=1;action=display;threadid=9786;
WOW.... the big difference is this happens sober or drunk..... and you just opened my dumb eyes.... the insults, the rage, the imagined injustices are nothing but verbal abuse, pure and simple.
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