Re:Having Doubts ChristyM: I don't think just because two people said marriage vows necessarily means they are meant to be together. I do think in our society it's made very easy to walk away and not feel a lot of ramifications. You mentioned that you've fought so I'm assuming this means you've told him your frustrations/worries/concerns. To me, I wouldn't put up with the disrespect -- especially in front of the kids. You are only teaching them that this is appropriate behavior for a husband and wife and also showing them this is how a mom and dad interact and treat each other. Not good. I do believe that if one or both of the people in a marriage aren't willing to change their behaviors and attitudes there comes a time where some serious decisions need to be made. And this doesn't necessarily mean sucking it up and staying in a loveless marriage.
Christy
Re:Having Doubts snowyheart: I rather teach my kids that: in a marriage, the husband and wife will not always get along and will fight, yet you stay together because that's what family does.
Rather than teach them that, when it gets hard and rocky and things seem to be going bad, you give up. What kind of a lesson is that? Not to mention that divorce tears kids up.
Re:Having Doubts Lumpy: Dear rejen76,
Looks like your getting opinions from all sides off the Ojar spectrum. Have you talked to him about fighting in front of the kids? Seems to me that can be fixed pretty easily. Sounds like yours is a classic communication problem. Have you expressed to him just how much his disrespect and neglect are effecting you? Tell him he's in danger of losing you. If you have been clear with him about the way you feel and he doesn't respond then I think you have your answer. If you're keeping these feelings to yourself then I think you owe it to the kids and your marriage to give him a chance. Stay Sane.
Re:Having Doubts Shanna: Okay I am going to go at this from a weird direction...please hang with me and know I am not judging you....I have been around Ojar for a while (since September actually).
It seems to me that women turn 30 (btwn 29-33 really) seem to decide they are not where they wanted to be at this point in their lives....so they start feeling unsatisfied with their accomplishments.
Is there anyway...you would stick around and get couseling for you and for your couple and make sure this isn't some sort of mid-life crisis???
Just an idea...bc this seems to be a trend.
Re:Having Doubts snowyheart: "trend".....yep
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