What does he want from me????? ga_sunshyne: Okay I have been living w/my XH since January. Our divorce was final in February. He suggested that I move back until I could move into a friend's house in APril. Well my friend is moving out this week-end so last nite I simply told him that she was moving on Saturday and that we needed to discuss childcare and the custody arrangements for our son. He goes ballistic. So I ask, "do you not want me to move?" His reply, I didn't say you had to." He has been seing the woman that he cheated on me with but coming home to me. My idea on this is that he does not know what he wants and I am simply his "back-up plan". So if things were to not go as he wanted with her he would still have me. I told him that I was not going to allow him to have his cake and eat it too which is pretty much what he has been doing. I have not been out with anyone and I would feel awkward coming back home to him if I did, so I just haven't. MY father in law has told me on several occassions that he says that he still loves me, so why can't he just say what it is that he wants????? I can't read his mind!!!! Not to mention that the upcoming week-end that I can move is my birthday and that is just not what I had planned on doing for it. He even went to the extreme to ask my son if he would rather go with him to the races or spend my birthday with me!!
I hate it when he makes him feel like he is playing favorites if he chooses to do something with one or the other of us. You know I would insist that he spend the day with his Dad on his birthday or father's day, etc.
I feel like he wants me to stay and try to reconcile but that if he admits he wants me there that would be like him admitting some wrong doing. I just know that I have to go. I cannot and am not going to submit myself to that kind of mental and emotional torture. If he wants me he is gonna have to win me ovr all over again. And cut all ties to his OW. But I did find out that she now knows that all the while he has been dating her (even since the divorce) that he has been sleeping with me. Wonder what she feels like now that I have assumed the role of the OW????
Anyways today is a sucky day for me and I just had to vent. :P
Sunshyne
Re:What does he want from me????? summerparis: Get out while you can, honey. You are in a bad situation. Don't let your ex play you like this. This sounds like too much drama! Can you honestly still love and respect a man who would be willing to play these kind of games? sb
Re:What does he want from me????? ga_sunshyne: I guess I just want so much for us to once again be us. TO have my family back. Maybe distance will do us good. Sometimes a person doesn't realize what they have until they fully lose it, which he has not experienced just yet. I have told him that once I am gone, there will not be any calling me with ulterior motives. And I know when thats the case. I guess after 22 years with a person I just can't turn off my emotions for him. I know without a dubt that I do love him but I am not gonna sacrifice my well being anymore for him . I have to take care of me. My mental and physical health has declined since all of this has begun.
Re:What does he want from me????? sad sad neko: wow your ex sounds like a not nice person. Who in their right mind goes out cheats on the person who loves them then gets a divorce and asks the ex to stay there hmmmm. I think you're better then that you deserve a man who will love and cherish you for the beautiful person you are. I think that when i comes to love respect is one of if not the most important aspect of it. I'm going to have to agree with SB on this one I think you should just get out and begin the healing process which will take some time because you're not made of steel and loose those feelings. I'm also a beleiver in Karma and the OW is not looking to good for what's coming ahead. If he did it to you what can she expect ;)
I wish you the best of luck and lots of good vibes you way ;D
Re:What does he want from me????? ga_sunshyne: Thanks Neko! THe living arrangements were really good to begin with. We were actually getting along better than we have for a long time. He decided to start taking our son with him to the OW home and out for dinner, etc. But he never let me know when they would (not because was keeping tabs, but because we had agreed that I would continue to do the cooking). So one particular nite they had gone out with the OW, didn't leave a note or anything, would not answer the cell. He nevers answers me on the cell when he is with her ??? So a friend of mine had already asked me to go out with her and some other friends for her b-day. Once I saw that they were not going to be home, I called her and said kewl, we'll meet up. TO make a long story short, we went to a club with live entertainment, danced, had a ball. I am a true believer of not drinking and driving so I didn't. I just had fun. When I leave the club, there is a deputy (my very own private deputy :o)
waiting at my car in the parking lot!!!). He had sent a deputy friend of his to find me. He escorts me to the county line. But yet my XH still says he doesn't care. He did not ask him to check up on me. He evidently did not realize that he told me that he asked him to.
He went ape$hi! wild. Go figure. Just about the time I think I am getting all of my ducks in a row and beginning to get better, he shoots all my duckies :'(
I know what I should do, but my heart says to do the opposite.
Sunshyne :'( :'( :'(
