Re:When did you start to meet 'new people'? teacherwriterguy: For me, pretty immediately after the decision to divorce was made and I was on my own, I started looking to make new connections to people. Not being an "out and about" animal much, my connections happened in unusual ways.
Some of it was starting to tell people at work a little about what was going on. Acquaintances and work friends - well everyone was sympathetic - but in several cases, it led to really nice conversations and new connections with people I'd only known on a certain level at work.
And of course, I came to Ojar and saw the Chicago weekend happening and made a point to go to that - that was a new crew of people to meet.
And even though family is not a "new" connection, I've reconnected or made renewed efforts to spend time with family members whom I haven't seen very much. And that's been good too.
But it all gets moderated too - I don't know how everyone else's divorce situation went - but mine left me with a lot of details to handle - selling the house, purchasing a new place, packing everything, continuing to work of course, etc. etc. And I did a few small things like starting at the gym which takes up time each day.
I don't find myself with lots of leftover time - I'm maybe not as outgoing and social as I could be - but I'm also not stuck doing nothing when I don't want to be. It's a good balance. :)
twg
Re:When did you start to meet 'new people'? cosmochick222: i had more friends than my ex and when i announced my divorce, some were sympathetic and i was just pleasantly surprised at most of them who came out of the woodwork to set me up with new people. a lot of my 'dates' were a handiwork of well-meaning friends and most of them were fun, some were duh....
a lot of my single girlfriends drag me to bars too but generally it gets lame especially when waitresses give me little notes from men who are too shy to come up to me and just send their phone number. though i have to admit it's very flattering to get free drinks courtesy of that guy over there...
i was nervous at first to go out again but since i made a firm commitment to myself not to jump into a serious relationship at least till the middle of next year, i've been enjoying my new found freedom to the hilt! it's great!
my aunts who weren't very fond of my ex have also set me up with their friends' sons and it was, for a lack of a better word, wacky.
i was advised that office relationships are a no-no and after i went out with one from work, i know exactly why.
Re:When did you start to meet 'new people'? netty_girl: Dont have to tell me about office relationships, that is where me and tbxh met! And both still work! talk about odd, even though we only work at the same time once a month or so.
Netty
Re:When did you start to meet 'new people'? teacherwriterguy: [quote"> i was nervous at first to go out again but since i made a firm commitment to myself not to jump into a serious relationship at least till the middle of next year[/quote">
Just curious - do you think it's important to say definitively "I won't date until XX date..."?
My thought was to basically say to myself, "I have enough on my plate. I'm not looking to date. But if a good opportunity presents itself, I'm not going to pass it up just because of timing."
Hrm.
twg
Re:When did you start to meet 'new people'? netty_girl: I would agree with that twg.
I was never searching for anyone when I met my old boyfriends, or my tbx, the opertunity just happened. And although I dont feel ready to date, I dont think I could give myself a time limit. But, I can say that I feel that it will be months and months until I am ready...but who knows? If mister right ends up nocking on my door, I am not going to tell him to leave and come back six months from now because that is what I have marked on a calander. ;)
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