Re:I AM SO MAD RIGHT NOW! barelybreathing: What made me snap and stoop to their level of unhumaneness?
I have just spent the last hour wigging out and calling my X and going insane.....
He just sat there on the phone and said, "you crazy woman, you need a doctor"....whereas before he would be the first to call his parents on their callous souls.
What I mess I made. In a matter of seconds, I totally snapped....and it was like I couldn't stop........
I am trying to calm myself down. Thank God my daughter is sleeping and my parents are gone......b/c this is not pretty.
I know its just stuff....but I have had to totally rebuild. Totally regain. He has not. And now, other people are enjoying the furniture I picked out and saved for. I even re-apolstered an antique chair that was in their family. It came out beautiful. Its just not fair. He cheats, lies, flakes out as a parent and I am the crazy one. Something is not right here.......
I bet he is feeling so justified right about now for his affiar. "See Mom and Dad, she is crazy, I had no choice...."
BB
Re:I AM SO MAD RIGHT NOW! JASPER: You know what BB screw him so you flipped out, it happens nothing to be ashamed of. I know it sucks to have to start all over but you will get through this.
Please try to stop putting yourself throught this torture get up and do something to take your mind off of it if you can but you must get a hold of yourself.
Dont even give this people the satisfaction of knowing how hard this is on you because they obviously dont care.
Pray for the strength to pull through these emotions BB and he will give it to you!
Re:I AM SO MAD RIGHT NOW! barelybreathing: Okay...what a day. Thanks all.
I talked to a wonderful girlfriend who restored balance and sanity for me. Geesh.
What triggered it was so minor but it made me crazed. His parents were never very nice, comforting kind of folks to begin with. Very hands off-ish. I remember one time I asked if she wanted to feed her grand baby some baby food and she said no. What grandmother would not want to feed their grandbaby? So yes, they are odd. They were not warm before or during the marriage so why would I expect anything different after. So I am surprised by my reaction seeing her online in my old office.
When I asked her how my house and furniture were (stupid I know but hey I was crazed) she responded with "fine" then I kicked into lunacy overdrive and asked if she met the other woman yet. Freaked out at what I was doing and got offline immediately.
It was nuts. And I was like what the sam hell am I doing here? This is ridiculous. And now I
was giving them more ammunition to dislike me. And what do I even care?
I probably never mentioned this to you all but my X put the other woman on the phone to talk with them and they did. His parents are "suppose" to be these religious moral people. When we were engaged, we tried to go visit them so I could meet them for the first time and they told us no because they were not comfortable that we were not married yet. But yet they would get on a phone and talk with an adulterous with no problem? It pained me deeply.
Gosh....what ugliness can come from all this affair garbage.
It urked me too that he was saying as if for his parents to hear, "you are crazy, you need a doctor."
Okay so yeah, I lost it but really, can you blame me?
I am going to go to bed and erase this day from my head. Tomorrow I will start fresh.....
BB
Re:I AM SO MAD RIGHT NOW! lostinspace: BB, Sorry about your day. I think we all have those moments. I have to run as fast as I can so my toung won't start cutting. Religion is a funny thing. Everyone is part of something but very few live it. Your stbx's choice of words were one more way for him to hurt you. We all need doctors. I think it's abnormal if anyone can make it out of this without feeling like or acting like we are going nuts. Those who can't see this don't understand the pain. Hang in there. We are a cheering for you.
Re:I AM SO MAD RIGHT NOW! JimB: Brace yourself, BB - here I go again.
One: his parents are HIS parents. He is their son; you are not their daughter. They are going to support him in what he does, just as your parents will support you. Your ex is a big boy now, who is responsible for his own actions. His parents have nothing to do with anything.
Two: it's not about the affair, it's not about the furniture, it's not about his parents - it's about you and your reactions. I'm sure you wish you hadn't lost it, but you did, and it sounds like you think it did a lot of damage to an already fragile situation. It also sounds like you're a little frustrated with yourself for allowing yourself to "lose it". So what are you going to do to keep that from happening again?
[quote">
Okay so yeah, I lost it but really, can you blame me?[/quote">
Yep. Your reactions are your responsibility - no one else's. If your pent-up anger is causing you to lose control of your reactions, then take whatever steps you need to to dissipate the anger and regain that control.
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