What do you make of this?? heelblue: I haven't posted in here for a little while but something happened this weekend that I would like to get some input on.......
I hadn't heard from my stbx for about 3 weeks.....Saturday she called me and told me her brother had died. I really didn't know what to say to her. To be honest, I hadn't thought much about her at all during that time. I told her I was sorry for her loss. I was pretty quiet on the phone with her...then she says to me "Well, you don't seem to want to talk to me so I will let you go." From my perspective, I really didn't know what to say to her. I was polite, but quiet.
Now, the question....It sounds like her family wants me to be a pallbearer for this. I very much do not want to be part of it. It is a long way from here and I would have to take vacation time from work to do it...(which I have no more left this year). Not to mention, I really have no desire to see stbx at all. Do you think I am in the right to politely decline this? I'm not sure if there is any protocol on this.
Re:What do you make of this?? admin: Decide if you think your stbx family will be part of your future?
Then decide if you can handle being near your stbx.
Me... I wouldn't do it. When you seperate its OVER!!!
"Move along EX see 'ya in another lifetime"
Your needs come first, forget about their needs.
My opinion. 8)
Re:What do you make of this?? Bob-Bob: Yup, got to agree with michael... ;D
Either way though handle it with some grace and respect... although just from our conversations I never thought you wouldn't!
Re:What do you make of this?? galil: I dont think there is any type of so called protocol for something like this.
It is about how you feel now and what you need to do for you. I am not sure on your situation as far as your wife and you whether you left her or if she left you.
for me that would have some effect to my decision on how I would handle that situation.
If in fact it will set you back to see your ex and her family i would say send flowers be polite and move n without going. they may not be happy about it but in the end do they realy matter? You do not have to have a relationship with these people therfore you probably dont need to explain yourself and any actions you may choose for you.
I dont think there is a write or wrong answere to this dilema your in. I would take the advice Old shoes gave me some time ago. Ask yourself how this will effect me ten years from now or even a year from now. If in fact it will probably have no effect on you for not going then by all means dont go. if you think it will have a negative effect on you and if you have to deal with these people you may want to oblige them and go.
In the end I think either choice you make will probably be the right on as i dont think there is no real answere here.
Re:What do you make of this?? heelblue: As far as whether or not my stbx family will be part of my future...I would say there isn't much chance in it. I have no ill-will toward them at all and have always had a good relationship with them, but I really don't want to have anything to do with my stbx. They live a long way away and I just forsee contact with them ceasing eventually.
Just as Michael said...once you separate...ITS OVER! And that is how I feel about the marriage....no mixed feelings or doubt about it at all.
Galil- she was the cheater...and I am now at a point where I am relieved and grateful that it is all over but the paperwork.
I am thinking of just sending a card to stbx parents expressing my sympathy for their loss.
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