Need a little advice niceguy: Ok, My S2bx and I have been rebuilding some sort of friendship. We have gotten together quite a few times, but there has always been a purpose. Fill out divorce paper work. Hiking with the dogs (she took 1 and I have the other) exchanging mail etc.
Today she emails me and asks if I would like to go to a fair with her this weekend. I'm worried because there is no 'reason' for this get togther. I would like to remain friends with her on some level always, but this seems a little dangerous to me. Maybe I am over anaylzing this. Those of you who know me know I do that from time to time ;). I don't want any thing more than frienship from her at this point. I haven't forgiven or forgotten what she has put me through. From the theme of a lot of recent post it seems as though it may be better just to cut all ties.
Ok, so with all that being said I'm not sure what to do. Any advice? other than stop thinking so much.
Re:Need a little advice JASPER: I say always go with your first mind if you dont think it's a good idea then you proably shouldn't go. If you have no itentions on trying to reconcile the marriage then whats the point.
There is nothing wrong with having a friendship as long as each person excepts it as such and is not expecting more to come from it. I mean do you think your wife is hoping to make some kind of reconnection with you? If so I wouldn't go if you dont want the same things I think it would be like leading her on.
Now if your both completly over each other and still want to hang out because you enjoy each others company then go.
Re:Need a little advice Bob-Bob: I think it is Important to make your intentions known...
This of course is in the pretense that you were going, but really would have to go with the cut all ties approach... it is hard to do at first but has benefitted me greatly in doing so.
I have gone through a whirlwind of emotions and finally have found balance and self again by breaking those ties and having no contact... the last contact I had with her well, I didn't even bother to post it.... I hung up on her...
Not out of anger, or hurt... I just saw no point to it... I can find far better friends (ones that would not crush my whole world at the drop of a hat) and far more happiness by not having contact with my X.
whatever you decide to do though, don't stop over analyzing... I do that constantly... sometimes it saves your @ss!!!
Bob
Re:Need a little advice justmenow: If you have no feelings left for her, then I say go. Might be fun to go to the fair. Expect nothing, want for nothing, and you won't get hurt. My X and I still do things together sometimes - as a matter of fact I owe him dinner because he helped me work out a nasty bug in my last program at work.
I actually like my X better as a friend than I ever did as a husband. Go and have fun. Life is too short for bitterness.
Re:Need a little advice wakepner: [quote author=niceguy link=board=1;threadid=1031;start=0#msg6514 date=1064267259">
Ok, so with all that being said I'm not sure what to do. Any advice?
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I do not think you want my advice...you already know what *I* am going to say.
I really do not think there is any reason to remain friends considering the pain she has put you through...
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