Where to begin? TiredandScared: I guess I'm in a bad place at the moment.
Here's my story,
I fell in love with a beautiful woman who live on literaly the otherside of the world. We met and kept in touch, the me being an imature young man I lead her along for some time. I moved on and so did she, well in my travels we ran into another again, I went home then moved to her country shortly after know I HAD to go and findout if this was the woman for me, if I didn't I would have cried in my beer for the rest of my life. So because of immagration laws we married alot sooner than we ever would have, also we never realy dated because of money and distance it was always all or nothing.
Fast forward +7 years, our issues keep growing, we try consuling (together and apart) I loose my job, nothing seems to be going right. We agree that someone needs to leave and we both look to see who can find a good, clean safe apartment, so I do.
I get out on my own and looking back now I think I totaly lost my mind. Out looking for women, drinking alot, doing everything I always promised my self I would never do in a marrage. I have sense come back to reality, but I am so lost, so lonely (but I know I will be better in the long run alone right now), but I am so sad. Its not that I miss here, I miss little things, like the cats that she has at the house. I miss the stability I once had not even a year ago. I am so scared of taking the next step I have to take.
AND I AM SO DAMN LONELY! I have no real friends, my family is too damn disfunctional it's scary, I feel like I have no one to turn to.
I know I have rambled through this with bad spelling but thanks for taking a look and letting me get this off my chest.
Missing My Cats
Re:Where to begin? notmyself: well, welcome although i am sorry that you had to come here. ojar is a wonderful place to vent, get advice, etc. first i would like to say that i find it refreshing to see a guy missing his cats. when my stbx walked out he left our cats too. he doesn't even ask about them. so you are scared of what is next? that is why you are clinging to the familiarity of the little things. you are at the start of an awesome journey, the rest of your life. i know it all seems daunting right now, i was there not so long ago. it will get better. post when you need to, we are all here.
NMS
Re:Where to begin? TiredandScared: Thanks, I was rolling along happily for awhile, and it seems in the last two days or so for what to me seems like no reason, I just want to curl up in a ball and cry. It's kind of hard to do that when you are at work, and are the new person trying to make your self look good.
I got really close to my cats during my time off work, they'd both fight over who got to sleep on my lap while I was look for jobs on-line. They both new I just need there love (which I did).
This is the first time in my entire life I have truely been alone. I am just barely learning on how to cope. It's real scarey.
Re:Where to begin? justmenow: Well, *I* have two cats you can have... They're currently causing me a lot of trouble. ;D
I'm sorry you're in a bad place, but I am glad you realized your part in the breakdown of your marriage. The lonliness is very hard, and I wish I had a good formula for getting through it, but I don't. Maybe go try to make some new friends? I know I have met a ton of new friends here on OJAR and spend a lot of time on Yahoo IM in the evenings just so I don't have to face my empty house. Find something constructive that suits you and try not to look back too much. What's past is past, and if you just continue to move forward, things will improve.
Re:Where to begin? TiredandScared: As much as I would LOVE to have my/any cats, I just don't have the space for them right now, and I would have to move to another apartment in my complex, because they don't alow cats in the building I'm in.
How do you just go out and meet people? Thats the million dollar question? How??
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