Re:Where to begin? justmenow: Well, the key is that you don't go out specifically to meet people. Find something you like to do, take a park district class or sign up for Karate, or go to some community or church event - whatever you're interested in. Of course there will be people there, and if you're friendly, you can't help but meet people.
Too bad about the cats... How about a hampster? :)
Re:Where to begin? TiredandScared: I'm not much of a rodent guy, I guess it's real hard to figure out what I want to do and who I am, because for the last eight years I have been a part of a we and us, and I guess I really don't know who I am any more. I have been thinking of the church thing, but I have issues with organized religion, and my cash is kind of low for a class, I guess I need to find something
Gotta run
Re:Where to begin? Jernigan: Hi TandS,
Well, if you don't believe in organized religion and have issues with it---as I do---I wouldn't turn to it in this time of need. I know many would object to my comment that too often people use religion as a crutch to get through troubled times. Best, perhaps, to rely on the reserves of energy and fortitude that exist within you rather than turn to something you really don't believe in as a vacuous gesture. Hey, if your heart's going to be in it, that's great---but we can make it without religion, you know.
It's harder, I believe, to make it without family and friends---that's tough. I know how you feel about family; mine too is so dysfunctional I'd have to be a little out of my mind to turn to them during this time, so I don't. Friends, that's a different story---I've been truly fortunate friend-wise. It's never too late to make friends, and perhaps it's a great time to build some new friendships---if not through a support group, then perhaps by seeking them out at work and through hobbies. Hey, a lot of people are looking for friends out there.
It sounds as though you traversed a dark and difficult time, what with the womanizing and drinking, and it also seems as though you've exited that period with a genuine willingness to reflect on what went wrong, and how to salvage the better parts of yourself. That in itself, I'd say, is a form of progress. Like you, I might have married too soon, entranced by a woman's rare and exceptional beauty, and went the shinola hit the fan, I too was scared, lonely, shaken. Still am. But day by day the future seems less intimidating, and you begin to realize there's a way through the difficulty---it only takes a lot of time and effort. You sound like you'll have both. Hang in there, pal.
Re:Where to begin? TiredandScared: Jernigan, the only thing I'll say on the religion front, it is the organized religion that I have issues with, not the people. I know how to deal with that, but I do see your point. Don't go running to something you really don't believe in.
Yippers, I am begining to figure out who I am, just with no one to talk to when I get home, I just start to go nuts, so thats when I was going to the bar becausethat was the only place I could think of. That got old and spendy considering I could have bought enough beer for two months for the apartment in under one weeks worth of the bar.
Plus, I spent the majority of my time there alone any ways. Yes I was that sad looser sitting alone getting buzzed just waiting to pounce on the first person to get near me.
That is what I want to get rid of, I just want a friend that I can meet for a drink, bullshit about the game with, etc...
