Re:Do You Ever Feel All Alone? Roland of Gilead: Yes, I have family around me and very few friends and i am scared and feel all alone. I'm not whining... that's just how I honsetly feel
My wife and I are seperated about 2 weeks now (formally), and we have been NOT a couple for several years.
[time to vent">
Our problems began after my sweetheart was told she needed an operation and would never have children. We had spent a great deal of time, effort and money trying to concieve. This was about 10 years ago.
After surgery, our sex life (passion, to be completely accurate) was missing. I chalked it up to the emotional and phisiological (sp?) effects of the surgery my wife had and thought that time would heal this.
A couple years later my wife required a more surgery and our sex life and the passion in our relationship went from bad to worse.
Next, a couple years after the previous surgery my wife required a partial hysterectomy. After this there was little sex in our life and less passion. It was the passion that I missed the most.
At this time, I was faltering in a new business that I had started up in the construction field. I failed at that business, and we suffered finacially with my wife basically supporting me. I fell into a depression at this time.
The next year, after having gone back to my old and hated job, I started an IT company - a 1 man computer doctor/ tutor.
I did a pretty good business my first year, but not enough to take a chance on a second year. I failed at my second business venture and my sex life/ passion in my life was at an all time low. My wife wouldn't physically "bristle" at my touch, but she was not receptive.
What followed was 2 + years of a deep depression for me, thinking that I was basically useless and a loser. My wife carried the financial weight during this time and I studied and learned computers whilst working part time in construction.
Now, just as my life has taken a turn for the positive and I have beat my depression, my wife wants a divorce. Not that I blame her, per se, just that I know that we are on the climb back up and she is bailing out.
In the last 7 years, my wife and I have made love 30 times, very few times with passion. I have faithfully waited and waited for her to come around... but alas.
I miss having someone to talk too... I miss having someone to love. I blew it and am so very sorry.
I am no longer depressed, but I am so very alone.
To top matters off, my wife has received some very one-sided and bad advice from a "professional" and from her family. They only know bits and pieces of 1 side of the story and thus offer their "wisdom". Thanks a lot.
I'm a positive, happy, loving and passionate person. I don't drink alcohal, I don't party and I love life... sometimes I just don't get it.
Thanks for listening... just typing this out feels better somewhat...
I was wrong in many ways... but I'm worth the wait.
Best of luck to you all.
Re:Do You Ever Feel All Alone? incoherentlonghorn: [quote author=Roland of Gilead link=board=3;threadid=1046;start=15#msg22318 date=1081469637">
I miss having someone to talk too... I miss having someone to love. I blew it and am so very sorry.[/quote">
It sounds like the combination of life, the surgeries, and business ventures all had a significant influence on your marriage. However, it takes two people working together to have close meaningful conversations and to keep the love sparked.
Now I have never experienced how difficult it had to be for your wife to encounter such a tremendous loss in not being able to have children. But in general I hardly believe "you blew it." It really takes two to tango. Everyone makes mistakes and the only thing you can do is learn from those mistakes. On the other hand it is nice to hear a man taking responsibility. ;)
It sounds like you really care about her. I miss having someone to love in that intimate way, but I'm packing up my heart, moving on, and seeing what life has in store.
Hang in there,
LL
Re:Do You Ever Feel All Alone? janee: Yes, I do feel all alone. I am unemployed, looking for work. And going through a bitter divorce. I have friends, who try to understand, but I know they really don't. No one really does unless he or she have gone through a divorce. I hardly hear from my family. I talk to my parents once every two weeks, but I am always making the phone calls. Never hear from my sisters. I have been invited to some upcoming parties, but I do not feel like putting on a face. Don't want to deal with meeting new people until my divorce is done. Or anwsering questions about my stbx's whereabouts. Just stuff like that. I believe once everything is settled, I will start to come out more. And will have more strength to handle those questions about my ex. Just don't have it right now.
Re:Do You Ever Feel All Alone? jm: I feel alone too. I work around people I care about all day and I am dating someone I really like but I still feel alone. I am having trouble identifying why exactly I feel so empty and unfulfilled but I do. My divorce is nasty and has been dragging along for nearly a year. I have thrown myself in my job. My family (who live across the country) and friends (local and long distance) are pretty good about everything--good listeners and supportive but I still feel very alone. Can anyone relate??
Re:Do You Ever Feel All Alone? al77: I complain that i have no friends, and no one to talk to. I am so desparate to start fresh, but just am having a hard time meeting people. I have some old friends that i see for events, but not one female friend to shop or have dinner with. Or atleast, no one that calls me. I have joined a sports club, which will start soon, so who knows. Anyway....last night i was supposed to go to a girls party, in celebration of my friend's upcoming wedding. I am hosting a stagette for her next week as well. I had been crying for two days, something I haven't done in months. Separated nine months now. I called my friend and apoligized that I just couldn't go, I was feeling too depressed. She told me that it was for her big day adn that I was selfish, and that everyone has problems.
Just this year my husband left, my grandmother died, my uncle and dog died. My father died a few years ago. I have bought a house, which is supposed to be great, but I am sooo lonely. I only spend time wiht my mom, and the one great guy I was dating, dumped me after two weeks for no reason. She tells me I am being selfish. I just couldn't go and was feeling miserable. I just don't know if I could have made it through the party without breaking down. Now she is concerned about me holding her stagette as i am emotionally unstable in her view. I don't know what to do. I now feel worse.
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