advice anyone? dazedanddivorcing: I just want to say thanks to those reading this.
Just posting makes me feel better.
My stbx seems okay with those whole divorce thing.
I am up and down, each day is different. He has asked me more than once if I am okay with this--I was NEVER okay with this, it wasn't my idea. I loved him and would have gone to the ends of the earth to save my marriage.
He says that I am just afraid of being alone, being a single parent and all that stuff. Those are the things that don't scare me! What really scares me is that I can't get past my feelings for him--even though I am smart enough to realize he doesn't deserve them. Anyway, he is always telling me that he doesn't love me and doesn't want to be with me, yet he seems to like to hear that I still have feelings for him, and don't want a divorce.
Is this some kind of game for him? I just don't understand. Why would anyone be so cruel?
It gets my hopes up, I think that maybe he still loves me and wants to come back home. It is very confusing, and it hurts like he#l.
Re:advice anyone? soTiredOfHurting: And, dear girl, I am willing to bet that once you get tired of him and start to live your life and not be concerned with him, he is going to be curious why. It seems that once we start taking care of ourselves the ex's get bothered that we aren't just sitting there moping and being miserable because we are without their awesome presence.
For me, with the weight loss, the tanning, and etc, it is driving my STBXW batty. She has even confronted me and asked me why I have the time to do this now! So this just feeds into the theory that I stated above.
You also will get to a point that you will just give up on it. When that is is hard to say. We each deal with our emotions differently. But I know that it will happen. I still wrestle with the times that thoughts of her and things that she has said enter my mind. Usually a lot more than I would prefer. But it is not anywhere near as bad as it once was. I just look forward to the day that I will be free of even this.
I am seeing more and more how far the lies have gone, and the deceit that this woman is capable of. Then she has the nerve to wonder why I don't like her or like being even near her. This seems to bother them a lot.
Well, IM me if you need to and you still have my digits if you want to talk. I will help however I can.
Re:advice anyone? jillieb44: Yeah, my stbx is very interested in who my friends are suddenly. Uh, ya never cared before, soooo...
Well, I guess cuz I keep meeting hot dudes with Harleys has him a wee bit jealous.... ;)
Well, ex, if ya cared so much for me, you wouldn't have tried to control me and ignore me for the better part of a decade. Uh, it got so old! And ya could've showed a wee bit more affection than 6 times a year. Sorry, Charlie, but I think it's over.
Jillie
Re:advice anyone? dazedanddivorcing: Thank you guys for the advice.
Why in the world do they start to care AFTER the damage has been done?
That is the part that sucks!
l
