I can't do this!! willow78: :( :'(My marriage is over, I know, but somehow my mind will not accept it. I can't seem to understand how this can really be happening. I have panic attacks all the time! I cannot believe that he really doesn't want us any more. When I see his gf in town, I start to shake, and my heart races. I stare at her and try to see what she has that he wants more than what I have. I hold onto the hope that he is coming back to me one day. My mind is on him all the time even when I try to sleep. I find no logic in any of this! How on earth could he do this?! There is no rhyme or reason for it, it makes no sense to me!! What was he thinking? After all the wonderful things he has said to me, how can he leave me for someone else? I am litterally losing my mind. I need to understand, but I know I never will, it is killing me!!!!
Re:I can't do this!! ww9111: Dear, you will never understand.
I spent two months racking my brain to try to understand, I read countless books about personality disorders and relationships. I finally gave in and let go. No contact whatsoever, and have been occupying myself with things that make me happy.
All we have the power to do within ourselves is accept.
I send you many hugs and lots of positive thoughts as you are in a tough place right now. And I encourage you to begin accepting what has happened and focus on you, making a better, stronger you.
Re:I can't do this!! twobeautifulkids: I don't understand it either. It'll be 2 weeks tomorrow that he left. It's also our 13th anniversary. What gets me through is our kids and the fact that I have a goal (going back to college for my education degree) along with knowing that I was a great wife. I don't understand why he did it, but I know I have to keep on living and I might as well do it in a positive way. (((HUGS))) to you. It's such a hard thing to go through and one day they will regret it, but it will be too little too late!
Re:I can't do this!! Knight: Hi Willow78
I understand how you feel, my fiance left me nearly 3 months ago - and I cant do this either, they say that time makes it easier, well - not for me. My girl was my everything, she was my only friend, my hopes, my inspirtation and my life. there have been times when I have given up and nearly checked out of this place, then there have been times when I have been just to exhasted to even want to do that. I may be on the other side of the world to you - but I understand how you feel and Im so sorry that you are going through this hell on earth. Do as I do with each day, the same thing that I tell my patients when a loved one has passed away (and whats the difference - if they are not in your life): just take it one breath at a time and hope that somehow, someday the pain will all go away. One breath at a time.
