Doesn't he even care? brokehearted: I hate this feeling that I am feeling right now. I so badly want to hear from my ex-boyfriend that it's killing me. I should be mad at him and never want to speak from him again but nope. It's been almost 4 weeks since he broke up with me after 4 years of being together, I found out later that his real reason for breaking up with me was because he met some girl at his work that I guess he wants to be with. I have not heard from him since the day he broke up with me and I have not contacted him either. I read a lot of these posts and most people hear from their ex's, not me and for some reason I want to. How do you just walk away after 4 years and never look back? Is it because he has someone to distract him? How I wish that this new relationship doesn't work.
I think one of the biggest reasons I want to hear from him is to know that he cares, does he not even care? I keep having these hopes of him calling me and us talking and I know that makes it worse. I have a really hard time dealing with this because up to two days before he broke up with me he was telling me how much he loved me and wanted to be with me. I am so confused and I am trying to answer all these questions that I may never have an answer to and that bothers me I want answers. I still have quite a bit of stuff left at our place so one day I will have to call him but I guess part of me keeps hoping he will make the first move. And right now because it hasn't been that long I probably would take him back as dumb as that sounds. 4 weeks is a long time to not hear from someone. I guess I should give up all hope.
Re:Doesn't he even care? Knight: Hi,
I understand your pain, you see Im in the same boat as you - my ex hasnt contacted me either and its been 3mths since we split, I called her a few times but you know what - it only made it worse, you dont need to hear from someone who doesnt care, when you do - it distroys you inside. My advice, for what it is worth - is to re-orientate your thoughts about him. As one kind soul on here said to me "if she loved you (he in ur case laugh) then he would never of hurt you like this". It is a struggle, my ex was going to marry me and was my everything so I understand. And yes - it would be easier for him, he has that distraction that you dont, but you know - even if the relationship he is in didnt work nad u guys got back together... It would never be the same again, once you have been hurt, it takes a mircale to overcome in. Place yourself in the hands of the ol man upstairs - and everytime he comes into your mind just say fast and firm and out loud "stop" - take away the power from your thoughts. It helps me sometimes, just a idea. Hope it helps and Im sorry you have had to feel the same pain that I still do myself. Take care of yourself. Troy.
Re:Doesn't he even care? ISITOBVIOUS: Good advice Knight.
I have spoken alot w/ my ?Girlfriend? about her feelings for her ex and I believe that so much of her emotion for him is jealousy. The first step is ruling that out. If you want him because you can have him then you have to try not to dwell on the situation. The problem I realize for me is I(or in your case you) are so available, that they don't need to talk to us. The already know they could if they choose to. We, on the other hand, don't have that feeling. So we guess, we play out ever situation in our mind. Well here is the only thing keeping me strong as she gets ready to go on a date with her ex this week. You don't live for you, or for him, you live for God and God will take care of you. That doesn't easy pain, but once you release the control, then are twice as likely to enjoy the ride. Just my thoughts!
Good luck and stay open, it is the only way to recieve help!
Re:Doesn't he even care? rcmorrison: I'm sorry that you're dealing with this...I can relate. After my second husband forced me to leave our home in WI on Oct 19, 2004, he immediately filed for divorce.
I was a faithful loving wife who gave up EVERYTHING and relocated 1000 miles away from my own life, family and friends to be with him and his son. Our marriage had more DOWNs than UPs and because of outside interference on the part of his former wife and their son, it was impossible to imagine spending my life like that anymore.
I tried to make things work for us, but in the end, he wanted nothing more from me. This man took the best of me and left me deeply broken hearted and numb.
I made numerous attempts after my departure to communicate, but he didn't want to talk. He went as far as to change our home phone number, his and son's cell numbers and his office number in Chicago. He doesn't respond to my emails at times and whenever he does, he is very RUDE and make false accusations against me and my character.
There was a time when I truly loved this man with all my heart/soul and would give up everything to be with him...and I did just that last year for him, but after the marriage, he changed.
I am dead to him now...like everything that we did together these past 3 yrs never existed. I feel at times that I didn't mean anything to him, but when he got custody of his son, the man I loved and married changed to someone I didn't like because NOW it was all about his 14yr old troubled son and his former wife...I was not in the picture anymore.
Re:Doesn't he even care? pauly: I relate to all of this also,it's just so typical behaviour.I sometimes wonder though would I be the same,in the same situation-I know that I would not on careful reflection.
brokehearted,I really do emphasize with you but have to say that it does and will get easier,in time.
They do what they have to do and certainly seem not to care.Although something deep down says that they hurt just as bad too
