Re:How do I even begin to work through this? wpgilbe: I am fighting for custody of the children. She plans to move, but I cannot let that happen. The children are my top priority right now, and I simply don't think that removing their daddy is in their best interest at this stage of their lives.
It is good to hear from someone who has experienced the same thing. You feel so let down (if you are not the initiator) and feel so alone.
I wish you the best as well, and I hope that we all learn something from this. It is just hard to see it right now.
Take Care
Re:How do I even begin to work through this? Dunno: I can't answer the HOW it happens, I just know it does happen. Hatred is a strong word, but after spending over half our lives together as man and wife, it's over. We shared five children, luckily they are grown now. He up and left, showing no concern for our family, finances, nothing. Ther eis no contact, wiht myself or our children. Feelings apparently do change rather we want them to or not. It's up to us to accept what we cannot change and better what we can. I hope everything works out for you both and for the children as well. Whatever feelings you share, try to keep in mind the children love BOTH their parents, they need you :)
Re:How do I even begin to work through this? landsmommy: Well...first off I want to say that I am sorry you feel so lost and hurt...this kind of stuff is never easy. I know that to you it seems so quick, and it probably is from your perspective...but I have a feeling that it has been a much more lengthy process for your wife. The person who is left is always the person who is taken by surprise. That has been my experiance anyway. I was left once...by an ex-boyfriend...I didn't see it coming. But in regards to my ex-husband and my soon to be ex-husband...they are the ones' who didn't see it coming...I tried to talk to them, but it fell on deaf ears. You will get through this...the pain does go away. I can only say that regarding your kids...do what you can...the hardenst part is having to split time with a spouse...I am not looking forward to that myself with my son...I do it already with my daughter...and now I enjoy my time away...but it takes awhile to get used to it...and I have had 7 years to get used to it with my daughter.
Also I want to add that if she isn't willing to do more than one session of counseling then it isn't worth going to try to find a way to save the marriage. Both people have to want it...go for yourself. My current husband wants us to go to counseling...but I want to see someone on my own...and he on his own. We have to work on ourselves before we can work on us.
I wish you the best...
