Re:Maybe I can write and write until nothing is left. jt5639: #6
I had coffee with N_ today. He says "How are you doing? H_ and I were really surprised to hear the news" Really surprised. Everyone is really surprised. ALL of our mutual friends. My family - your family. Our therapist! What the fu#$ is wrong with you!! Why can't you see how much you are screwing this up? It was so quick - how could it have ended so quickly. How could no one have seen it coming - including myself? Why are you such a coward?
Another irony about you and I - you left because you had no hope, and I can't leave because I have way too much. I guess that's not really ironic, but it's true. Why do I still have hope? What purpose is it serving me? I guess it's because it's a survival skill of mine. I've had a lot of heartache in my life, a lot of loss. Hope gets you through these times. You've had it pretty easy until now - so you do not rely on hope. But hope is not real, is it? Hope right now reduces me to tears. Why do I still have hope?
Re:Maybe I can write and write until nothing is left. browngreen: Jt,
I think us hopefulls are going to have a more rewarding life. But we need to be with hopeful partners, huh?
I guess I wonder why I'm attracted to men who won't stick around, work it out, can't keep hope alive.
this is the second time I've fallen in love with someone who looses hope too easily/gives up like it's nothing.
All I can do is work on myself. And remind myself of all that was wrong.
AG
