I'm clueless... coldturkey: I don't want to get to much in to my story (maybe one day soon I will) but I went PMS Wacko on my BF almost 2.5 months ago because I was totally stressing out about some personal issues, which primarily dealt with him. Believe me it was bound to happen. In the beginning of my breakdown, I cut him out of my life. Totally shunned him. But a week later, I realized I made a mistake, and he wouldn't take me back. I started to go psycho. Constantly text msging him, and emailing him. All the time. It was compulsion. I apologized over and over again because I made a mistake. Finally a month later he told me, it was best we that we spent some time apart to think about things. (We were supposed to get married.) After I went crazy on him, he wasn't sure he wanted to be with me anymore. I told him to tell me in my face that he didn't love me anymore, but he never did. I'm telling u I went so crazy it scared me. I went to see a therapist two weeks ago and now I'm on prozac, and go to therapy weekly. My shrink tells me that I'm to needy on my BF? and he's right. I realized I don't have really have another friends here on this stupid island. (I'm in Hawaii. This place sucks) I have 2 that I hang out with occassionally, but it's not like having my best friend here. Anyways long story short, I'm getting my life back together, and I'm getting out more with my friends, exercising and finding hobbies. I had an anxiety attack last friday night, and called my bf for help, surprisingly he spoke to me for a second to help me out. I know I have a long way to go becoming an individual again and not so dependent on him. My problem is, I really don't know how he feels about me right now because he won't talk to me. I told him I was getting help for my problem. The doctor says I'm depressed due to stress. I told him that I needed his support, and that depression was a real illness, but nothing. I feel like I'm finally taking back my life with therapy and prozac. I'm happy that I can think clearly again. But, I cracked up over the weekend and began to cry because I missed him, and told him that when he doesn't answer my text msgs, it hurts me even more. I decided today that I was going to go cold turkey and not email, call or text him anymore cuz I got to get my life back on track about focusing on me. I still love him very much. I moved here to be with him, but I don't know how he feels about me cuz he won't open up that's what's driving me crazy the most. I still have the illusion that he still loves me, but hell if I know. I've decided to follow my best friends advice and let him come to me when he's ready. Are there any advice givers out there? Until then, I take it day by day. I feel like a recovering alcohol. But I know I'll be okay. :P
Re:I'm clueless... some-guy: Try to convince yourself that he is helping you by trying to lead you into developing your independence. This unfortunately includes NOT msging/emailing/talking with him when you need help. Once you find out that you don't have to depend on anything/one but yourself, you'll be a much better person for it, and maybe one that your bf would enjoy to be around.
Be free. Grow. Explore.
some-guy
Re:I'm clueless... jt5639: I think your friend is right. Let him be for awhile and you take care of yourself. How old is your BF? I ask because my ex - mid 20s had a lot of trouble dealing with my depression. He says he would feel down when I was down, and he also wanted to "fix" my problem. Well, I think it's a small part of why he left - the effect my depression had on him (even though I haven't been depressed in quite some time). My therapist says it's his age. It takes a mature person to stand by someone with depression and just support them and not let it affect them. It sounds like your depression etc. is stress based and not a life-long thing like I may have to deal with. However, it's hard for some people to stand by someone when they "freak out" unless they are mature and realize it has nothing to do with them and they just need to stand by you through it.
Give him time, and take care of yourself. Don't know if this helped at all.
JT
Re:I'm clueless... sacoderisa: Funny that you mention that, because I was there standing by her side when she was the one with depression (post partum), always stood by her, now that i have depression (mainly because she left) i have nobody to fall on, my family is there, but I don't want to be that burden, and my friends.......oh wait, i got none, haha, at least i still have some sick sense of humor.
Re:I'm clueless... elisioleftalone: Saco,
If your family loves you AT ALL, they will WANT you to burden them with this. When my wife left, I felt guilty about burdening my parents. But they would have been more hurt if I didn't.
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