Re:I want to go back in my cave.... barelybreathing: Thanks Oldshoes and Daisy.
I just got off the phone with the man I went out with.
He asked me out again and I told him that I am just not quite ready to put myself out there yet and that I need to do a little more healing and bring some real closure in my world.
I feel better. It is just not the right time for me.
On Friday I went th pick up what little clothes I have at the dry cleaners (every thing is still in storage) and they lost a belt of mine. I had a total melt down from it. Not because of the lost belt obviously but because of my stuff being in storage and living like a gypsy still. That was a real indication that I need to get some resolution and closure so that I won't have melt downs like that again. This is how I know I am not quite ready.
Thanks guys for your insight.
BB
Re:I want to go back in my cave.... paddington: Oh BB, for whatever it is worth, I can completely relate to your situation. Anytime things go wrong -- esp. "out there" -- I want to crawl back in my cave or call up my ex to have him come over and make it all better. Just to go back to "normal" sometimes would be so comforting, even if "normal" was not that great when I was experiencing it real time.
I have done the same thing - when times have been tough I have called my x hoping for some of the familiarity, some of the comfort that I once felt. It changes nothing. In my case, it actually makes him more resolute that he has moved on and I haven't, and that if I can't move on from this, I certainly could not have moved on from his affair.
So what JimB said is unfortunately so right. What we miss does not exist anymore - we miss only the person our ex used to be. And likely we miss what used to be without remembering the dark spots.
Stay strong. Take it slow. It will not feel right until it is right. I am thinking of you.
Re:I want to go back in my cave.... Brian75034: BB,
If it makes you feel any better, my first "dates" when I was getting divorced was a disaster. I had to be pretty "medicated" via booze to get the nerves to do it.
I dont know if you want any advice but maybe next time, dont do something that is so "datey". The nice dinner and all seems to have LOTS of pressure attached to it.
The girl im dating now, our first "date" was just a trip to the museum. Something laid back, something casual.
Using the pool analogy again, I think you tried to get into the "pool" by jumping off the high dive.
Try walking down the steps in the shallow end first! ;-)
B
Re:I want to go back in my cave.... barelybreathing: Ha ha ha Brian!
Yeah gotcha.
How funny.
Well, so it goes...........
BB
Re:I want to go back in my cave.... inebr: I have been thinking of this thread. I'm sorry the date was uncomfortable but it's a good thing in the sense that you recognize you wnat to take some more time before dating.
There have been so many times in the past that I have wanted to call the stbx, by old best friend, the person that knew me the best and loved me more than anyone ever did. BUT, the day he walked away from me and our relationship, he LOST the right to comfort me. I dunno, each person and situation is different but for me, it just seems really wrong for the stbx to comfort me, especially over the pain HE inflicted!!
that's my 2cents
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