What have you found out about yourself since your divorce? EfemII: Besides the survival skills I've built since my divorce, I've found other remarkable qualities about myself.
1. I can go to the grocery store and buy actual meals, in addition to the frozen pizzas, nachos and beer. :D
2. I don't need someone to help me shop for clothes. I can do it all by myself.
3. Going out to eat with family is now possible. I went out with my uncles and their wives for the first time last week and I liked being on my own.
4. I don't have a problem telling other women about being divorced. If they can't handle it, then it's their loss.
5. I cherish each day I live and don't take life for granted.
These are just the first 5 things that popped up in my head... there are a ton more, but I'm just happy I don't have to come back home to a liar, manipulator, and to someone pretending to love me.
Dave
Re:What have you found out about yourself since your divorce? Jernigan: Pretty good question, Dave...though my impromptu list is more composed of the good, bad and the ugly. Also, I am separated off and on for several months, and divorce is in process, so hope this still counts. Just to name a few...
1. I am a far happier person in a committed relationship, and have come to realize that I am a serial monogomist. Despite our problems, I would have never left my wife. And I am far more old-fashioned than I ever realized.
2. In the weird and wonky world of singledom, there are many more fruitcakes out there than I previously imagined. Myself included, perhaps.
3. I can survive emergencies---financial, physical and mental---alone.
4. It will be quite some time before I trust another woman with as much abandon again.
5. Many people my age are, if not considering a divorce, divorced already. Some individuals, in fact, are divorced a few times with kids. And many of those who remain in marriage are deeply unhappy.
6. My standards have become much more specific and strict in almost every regard: emotionally, mentally, physically. I'd much rather be alone than compromise these standards, which I've been told verge on the "ridiculously high."
7. It's easier to make big life decisions when you're flying solo. You can pretty much burn the whole house down, so to speak; it's liberating and frightening being responsible only for yourself. Thinking about moving to NYC case in point.
8. I have many great friends who would do almost anything for me, and they have a seemingly limitless reserve of empathy and patience for the recent ordeals I've gone through. Very lucky in this regard.
There's more, but I'll stop for now.
Re:What have you found out about yourself since your divorce? atd74: Good One -
I have learned:
1) I am stronger than I always thought I was.
2) I am not as shy as I thought I was.
3) I have a very high threshold level for physical, mental and emotional pain.
4) I don't need anyone - not man in a committed relationship or friend - to validate me anymore.
5) I am unique in many different ways others are not - that's why I am unique :P
6) I have a grown up attitude towards life and relationships and can face both head on without losing myself in the process.
7) I am not jaded and that I can give people the benefit of the doubt.
8) Most importantly - I've learned that even through all the heartache and problems with my ex and in my first marriage that being married and having a serious, committed, loving relationship is all worth it in the end.
9) Living back home has made me realize just how much I really am like my Mom and how proud I am of that and how grateful I am to having such wonderful parents.
Re:What have you found out about yourself since your divorce? barelybreathing: Good post.
Let's see here:
1. I learned that I am individual with extreme honor and integrity.
2. That I too am a serial monogomist!
3. That I am a simple traditional girl who wants a balanced life.
4. That there is no adversity out there that I will not be equipped to handle. (I laugh at the face of adversity now actually whereas before I would have been overwhelmed.)
5. I am responsible.
6. I have learned that I do have high standards but I am glad for it and NOT apologetic for it. (I am whoever you say I am kind of attitude.)
7. I am realistic now. I am armed with this new knowledge and that knowledge is what keeps me grounded.
8. My idea of a relationship has changed now. I am so much wiser as to what it takes and how it needs to be. When I do get back out there to really start dating, I will be able to sort thorugh the rift raft much easier.
9. I am loved. My family loves me. I have a small group of friends who love me. And that is wonderful.
10. I learned that I really like me, who I am and what I stand for.
BB
Re:What have you found out about yourself since your divorce? justmenow: Great post! Thanks for starting it. I ditto what BB said. Besides that I have learned:
1. I like getting my way - it's fun. (MY remote, MY dinner, MY choice as to what color to paint the walls).
2. I have found out that the person I used to be hasn't gone away, she was just buried under a bad situation and she's coming back slowly. I liked her better anyway.
3. I am an Academy Award winning actress. Through all the pain and hurt, I have managed to keep my wits about me and be a good Mom.
4. It doesn't matter that the dishes don't get done today. They will be just as dirty tomorrow and it's not any harder for me to stick them in the diswasher.
5. If it didn't break while the X lived there, it will break very soon - be prepared. I have learned to be quite the handywoman around the house. It may not be the exact right screw that was made for the job, but darn it, the door is still hanging....
That's about it for now, but there's new stuff every day.
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