Re:What have you found out about yourself since your divorce? Old_Shoes: 1. I can maintain the household, take the kids to school and work full time without help. Ok, the house isn't spotless and I'm behind on laundry, but overall life goes on without her.
2. I am a survivor. I have had the roughest year of my life, but I'm still going.
3. I love my ex wife and probably always will. Wish she could've been happy with me, but see #2.
4. I am happy by myself.
5. I can be with someone if I choose, but it's not a requirement.
6. Another serial monogamist. I am unable to juggle multiple relationships. How people have affairs I will never know.
7. I like who I am. There are a few things that I've done/do that I don't care for, but I have the ability to change those behaviors. The core person is good.
8. People are flawed. Stand clear of the whacko's and accept the flaws of the ones you choose to be with.
9. Never settle for a relationship you know isn't right.
10. Motorcycles are dangerous. Wear whatever you can strap on your body.
Re:What have you found out about yourself since your divorce? DaisyGarden: #1, I think I realized I loved my husband more then I knew. I had kind of a 'well, if you don't like it, then do something about it attitude'...and when he did something. I felt like I lost my best friend.
#2 I found that I'm stronger then I thought. I thought I'd die from the pain of this divorce. And yet here I am waking, breathing, and LIVING, everyday!
#3 I know that I'll be just fine raising my daughter by myself. I still wish I could give her a 2 parent household. But, with s2bx as emotionally unstable as he is...I know I'll be ok doing it by myself. Didn't believe that when this first happened.
Re:What have you found out about yourself since your divorce? paddington: Excellent post, as it forces us to mesure progress (or at least learning). Here goes:
1. Count me into the serial monogamist club. I like the intimacy and the honesty and the safety that comes with an exclusive, serious relationship. I find it amazing how many of us on this board have been burned by love but still are so firmly committed to the idea of marriage as a good thing. I take great comfort in that.
2. I am very lucky to have supportive family and friends and although I pride myself on being self-reliant, I have come to rely on them and value them immensely.
3. My family and friends will hate my X for hurting me much more than I ever will. I am devastated and hurt, but not bitter. I will always love the person I married, wherever he went, and my healing is completely dependent upon accepting that that person is never coming back again.
4. I am a survivor.
5. I will do almost anything to keep a relationship together, and this is sometimes not healthy.
6. I used to feel so much a part of my X that I never saw that people liked me just for me, not for the couple. But (insert Sally Field voice here) they like me, they really really like me.
7. I adore my parents but am sometimes too reliant on them/swayed by their protectiveness.
8. I have so much more to learn about myself and about what I need out of a partner. This experience has been so devastating in some ways -- I need to rebuild entirely.
Re:What have you found out about yourself since your divorce? praxedis: 1. I am actually a very neat, clean person. All the years we were married, I was lead to believe that I was the messy one.
2. I'm actually a cool, approachable guy if you get to know me. All these years I thought I was told that I was a jerk so I internalized it.
3. I can set goals and keep them if I choose.
4. In fact, I can do anything I choose.
5. I'm a loving, caring father. I'm a better father than I was when we were married.
6. I have a right to my feelings.
7. Other people have a right to theirs.
8. Living totally alone is much better than living alone with someone else.
Those are the only ones I could think of for now...
Re:What have you found out about yourself since your divorce? JimB: I like this topic. I just have one item, but it's a long one.
1. Success, happiness, and fulfillment in life are rooted in the attempt to be the best person I possibly can. If I embrace the qualities I love and respect most in other people, and do the best I can every day, I'm happy. It may or may not be "good enough" for others, but ultimately others' opinions are not important. If it's good enough for me, it's "good enough".
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