seeing his face inebr: well, it's monday night and I'm feeling strange. My stbx signed the divorce papers and now the next thing to do it to file them. Anyhow, he teaches a class in a building in which I take a class so on M-W-F there is a good chance that I'll see him unless I take the "back route", which I normally do just to not have to see him and act all "ok". Anyhow, today I saw him as I was walking with a friend thorugh the hall and I looked up and saw the stbx and he just had the biggest smirk or something on his face. Smiling as if he was the buddah or something. I looked at him briefly as I was passing, said hello, and kept walking. I dunno, I'm just venting here. I guess what I'm saying is that I think it's so weird how he *seems* to be moving through this with such grace and self-resolve. I guess I should say "good for him". That's what we all want. I guess I'm getting through it pretty well myself.
There is still a part of me is waiting for him to hit that "a-ha" moment when he figures out what he left behind. Yet I know that it's unlikely that moment will ever come. Maybe that's kind of sick of me, a nerousis ....will that eventually go away?
Re:seeing his face lostinspace: inebr I feel the same way. I think sooner or later they have to know. The act can only go on so long and then at the point where they hit a brick wall they will realize. Most likely you will be far enough along it won't matter to you then. Take hope in knowing that all of us deal with it now or deal with it later but we all must deal with it at some point. Sounds as though you are dealing with it now. Know that regardless of what his demeanor is you are uniquely made, a one of a kind person who has great value. Keep your chin up and a smile on your face.
Re:seeing his face DaisyGarden: So many times I've thought, he is going to look at me and KNOW that he is making a mistake! :-\ Or better yet, look at our child and know. But, that has not happened. Infact everytime we see each other I think it makes him realize even more that this (divorce) is what he wants. He even said that his time spent in Iraq made him more sure of his decision. He spoke with a chaplain there who told him not to stay with me for the sake of our child, and that would have been the only way he would've stayed. My Mom later spoke with one who said that a child is a foundation in which to work on a marriage, and that is sometimes what you need. Who knows, but s2bx is very content and it sucks! ;)
I know I'll be ok, but to see them happy about moving on is going to hurt. :-[ Everytime I see him though, it does get easier. And I'm becoming prepared for anything. Take care.
Re:seeing his face NotADoormat: You will reach a point, after the emotional divorce takes place, where you see him and pretty much see through him. I am at that point with my X. I no longer care if he "sees the light" or if he is truly happy or content with his decision. It wasn't easy getting to this point, but I was so much happier when I gave up trying to second guess what he was feeling and just started living my own life.
These snapshots in time when you get to see him could be completely deceiving. If someone were to see you while walking along with a friend - chances are you would look pretty happy and content too. I wouldn't put too much thought into it. Let him be him and you be you and everything will work out fine.
Re:seeing his face EfemII: It's an act. Even if laughs in your face, it's all show. He knows what he left behind and he's just saving face. It's nothing you can control, so don't let his actions affect you in any way.
Don't worry about the eventual encounter with him. Just go about your business. I know it sucks... think of your happiness first, and you feel better about yourself.
Dave
