Saw my X last night grober: I found some stuff of hers that I thought she had already taken. So, I called her up and she came over to get it. While she was there we talked.
I always thought that I'd get some sort of satisfaction when she realized how badly she screwed up. (refresher: she had an affair and left me for the OM) Well now she has come the that realization. I don't feel vindicated, or happy to see her squirm in the mess she has made of her life. I just feel sad for her. I mean, if we had talked like we did last night during our separation, who knows? things may (or may not) have worked out differently. I gave her several chances to try to work things out (even she agrees to that). She said she was just too scared to do anything to sav our marriage. I don't really get that.
I don't know what the point of this post is, just feeling weird today.
Re:Saw my X last night barelybreathing: Yeah, you are right, it does not make you feel vindicated but just completely sad for the person you spent so much time with.
It doesn't make sense how they reason what they did or what they didn't do.
Its a big mystery. In the movies, you see where someone messes up so bad and they turn around and do everything to make it better. Well, obviously, you and I never got that.
We just got screamed at, laughed at, stepped on and overlooked.
And now when they reach the bottom they look to us for some kind of relief and aid. And we are just completely spent by this point that we have nothing left in us.
One big fat mystery.
BB
Re:Saw my X last night Safetykc: I hear you. My STBX found out yesterday the court date for the big "D" and she freaked. We had a long talk and her life is crappy now too and she misses things. I think the OM dumped her, big surprise. I asked her if it was all worth it and of course it wasn't....I thought it would make me feel better, but it doesn't. It still feels like a waste. We are still in Seperation and having the kind of conversations you are now having with your X and at least in my case it doesn't make a difference. I asked her if there wasn't some part of her that wanted to fight for the dream and what could have been and could be and she says she doesn't have the energy.....great. So sometimes it just doesn't make a difference if their life is worse during the seperation or after the divorce....There is no winning or losing for anyone in these situations. Just life and a different course to chart for each of you. I hope it gets better for you man...Take care.
Re:Saw my X last night grober: Thanks guys. I knew someone here could relate. It does seem like such a waste. So many things my X said are really confusing. I get so tired of trying to understand. I guess I never will.
Understand it or not, it does not change where I'm headed in my life or that she will have to deal with the consequences of her actions.
