FIGHTING THE URGE! JASPER: Well after tonights wierd behavior of the ex
(see moved today) I got to feeling like he was up to something. I mean why else would he not want to talk to me or would try to avoid avoid seeing me.Did he have plans of his own for the evening?
I often have thoughts like this about him because of all the infidelity I've dealt with through out this marriage. Usaully when I get these thoughts I would go out in the middle of the night to check. Nine times out of ten he usaully is up to no good!
I don't know if I want to know so I can feel better about moving on so I can say hey I tried it again and again and you blew it.
I don't now if I'm just looking for reasons to let go of this marriage so I wont have to harbor the guilt of throwing it away.
But I will not play eye spy tonight whatever is meant for me to see I will see I wont go out looking for pain anymore because regardless of how bad the marriage is it will still bring you pain to have to see your spouse cheating.
So tonight I am fighting the urge!!
I dont know what that means for me just yet.
But I feel like it's a good step especially for me ho has done some really crazy things trying to catch him in the act.
Re:FIGHTING THE URGE! niceguy: Hey Jasper,
Good for you. You're right you don't need more pain. I think it's a great sign that you are starting to let go. The more and more you can focus on yourself rather than what he is doing the better off you will be.
[quote"> I don't now if I'm just looking for reasons to let go of this marriage so I wont have to harbor the guilt of throwing it away[/quote">
From what I've heard of your story you have nothing to feel guilty about.
Re:FIGHTING THE URGE! Bob-Bob: Hey Jasper!!!
You are doing and have done everything to make it work to give yourself closure on this...
not meaning closure by running away but by the fact that you have and are trying to make it work...
I really respect that... many people find it very easy to just turn and walk...
I applaud the fact that you were willing to do whatever it took to try and make it work...
I applaud you!! I would have given up and walked away, tired of subjecting myself to the torture of knowing that my wife decided to run off with another man... You are far more resiliant than I was.
Bob
