In the thick of it praxedis: I was much worse two days ago, but I am in utter despair over all of this.
I haven't felt this way since my father died.
That is all.
Re:In the thick of it barelybreathing: I am so sorry. It hurts and it hurts bad.
In my situation, I have not only watched me and my hurt in all of this mess but I have watched my X's hurt too.
So I am seeing both sides and perspectives from an affair.
Do you love your wife? Do you want your marriage?
If the answer is an astounding yes, then fight like hell to get it all back. Set aside all pride and get down in the trenches and go for it. Do all that you can to show her that you want to put it back together. Not to what it once was but to something better.
Your wife is a dejected soul. She has lost hope and faith. You can't blame her really. Restore her hope and faith in you and your marriage.
If you answer no then it is time for healing. Heal yourself and help heal your wife. Learn as much as you can from the breakdown in your marriage so that you will not ever repeat them. Learn as much about yourself as you can that you gain nothing but wisdom and strength from all this.
But whatever you do praxedis, do something. Its your mess, now it is time to clean up.
Take care.....BB
Re:In the thick of it JimB: There's nothing quite like finally deciding on the right path in your life, after a period of uncertainty, and then suddenly having that option yanked away. It hurts like h*ll, my friend.
One day at a time. Just keep chugging forward - there's no other direction to go. You made one very good decision that didn't work out (the decision to go back to her), so make it the first of many good decisions. Eventually you'll discover that you're not a bad person - you're a good person who made a very big mistake. Then you'll be able to start rebuilding your self-esteem and your self-worth.
Working on yourself will benefit you no matter what. I originally started working on myself with the idea that it would help me get my wife back. Now I work on myself with the idea that becoming a better person is a good thing for me and whoever I happen to be with. So far, so good.
Good luck.
