Re:Been a rough week part 1.... Bob-Bob: Got to agree with Heelblue here... Play by your rules and do what is best for you....
I was also cheated on and have come a very long way from where I was when It all went down...
just coming to grip with the facts, and slapping myself in the face with them when I would start having doubts was the way I made it through this....
never forgetting to do my share of introspection and work on myself....
I realized I would have never done that to her... never... I would have had the guts and civility to tell her up front that I was unhappy and wanted to go to counseling... but I would have never and still would not have did her the way she did me!!!
Bob
Re:Been a rough week part 1.... Safetykc: Thanks Bob, I am doing better now. Sometimes these things well up and you just need to let them out here so you do not scream. I also would NEVER have done this to her, but then again I am a decent, honorable human being. I just can not understand cheating. It is always...always better to end your current relationship before doing something like that. It is not only disrespectful to your partner and spouse, but to yourself as well....Thanks for the support.
Re:Been a rough week part 1.... heelblue: I agree with you completely on that. It is always better and more respectful to end your relationship before doing something like that. In fact I said that to my stbx straight up! I told her I would rather hear her tell me to take a flying leap than do what she did. But, she did what she did and now she has to live with it.....NOT ME! :)
I still don't understand why people have to cheat....very hurtful!
Re:Been a rough week part 1.... justmenow: You'll be just fine, E. She is probably realizing what a schmuck she's been and doesn't even know where to start. It probably scares her that you're not groveling at her feet anymore. It's always more of a challenge to get what you can't have.
Do what's best for you and leave her in the dust where she belongs. Let her find comfort from her boy toy and see how far that gets her... ???
Been a rough week part 3.... Safetykc: Thanks NewMe!!!! That is great advice. I think she does realize that. The saga continues. She freaked out because the sheriff showed up last night and served her papers. She called and unloaded the whole, poor me, this is all too much thing, when she is the leaver....I just repeated the reality again. This is what is happening, it was her choice to have the affair and leave and sign a 13 month lease. etc etc. She still kept trying to turn it back on me for filing, but I wouldn't let her. She has given no indication she wants to work through this and just because NOW she is getting overwhelmed with this is NOT MY PROBLEM. It was rough though. I still hate seeing her in pain, but thats life. She said, "It didn't inspire confidence, that you filed for divorce so soon" That I wasn't giving it time...umm...time for what? I said you are STILL not saying you want to work on things, only that you want this break...plus it "Doesn't inspire confidence" that you had an affair at work and moved out and signed a 13 month lease. I told her I am an awesome guy and deserve better than this crap. She said she had low self esttem and didn't now how to turn it away...umm JUST SAY NO! ;) I told her she needed therapy, this is just ridiculous. How can you marry someone and know them so little. It's like I am looking at a stranger now. Who is this person? This isn't the woman I fell in love with and married...What a mess. To be continued....
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