Hard Day's Night justmenow: I had kind of a hard day today - probably just tired.
The company that I used to work for had a reunion party this evening. As I thought, it was more of a recruiting event. See, they laid about 80% of us off about 4 years ago and nearly went under. They finally got their act together and now want us to consider coming back because they said we are good people. Ok, I'll give them the benefit of the doubt. I just felt so comfortable there with my ex-coworkers. It took me back to a time when my life wasn't such a huge mess and I was so happy then. When I left to go back to my empty house and mess of a life, I just cried all the way home.
My X had taken the kids for the evening and when he brought them back I just gave him the biggest hug. I hadn't touched him in about a year, so he was surprised, but hugged me back. That felt comfortable too. I think I need some comfort in my life again. Does that make any sense? Comfort + Security = happiness? I don't know. What *is* that darn formula anyway?
Anyhow, thanks for listening. Needed to ramble I think. Now I need to sleep. :(
Re:Hard Day's Night hurtingverymuch: Sorry to hear that you had such a hard day!
And, you make perfect sense. Been down that road myself, a few times, actually, where my s2bx has come over to help me with a couple of things at my new place and where we've ended up giving each other a hug. It felt right and also "comfortable and secure".
IIMHO, I don't think comfort and security necessarily equals happiness. In my situation anyway, if comfort and security brought happinesss, my s2bx and I would still be together as we had the comfort and security (as you know we felt more like roommates than anything) but obviously this did not mean or bring happiness.
I think though that we need to become comfortable with ourselves again and our lives and maybe after we've reached that point we bring about a certain amount of happiness to ourselves.
I don't know what the formula is. It may be different for everyone? It's like an algebra equation where you have to find the meaning or value of "x" and "y". I was never any good at algebra so it's going to take me awhile to figure out the answer to my equation.
I'm kind of rambling here and I don't know if any of this makes sense (probably not). :-\ Sorry if I haven't helped much.
Hope you have a better day tomorrow.
Hugs
Hurt
Re:Hard Day's Night Safetykc: So sorry you had a rough day yesterday. Seems to be going around this week. I totally understand the desire for comfort and security, but I am not sure if it can ever be again with that person you were with before. For some reason I was ending up hugging the ex for a while there, that has kind of stopped. Both of us missed that comfort and they felt right at the time, but then they always leave you feeling kind of empty because they aren't REAL comfort and security. That person isn't the security you had with everything that has passed between you. My STBX says she misses the comfort and security of being with me. We had a lot of comfort and security together and it did not bring us happiness. At least happiness on both parts. I agree that you have to become comfortable and secure with yourself and then you will be ready to be comfortable and secure with someone else. I have been single a long time and married a short time, and I can honestly say I enjoy the "joys" of sharing my life with someone else, you just have to be sure it is the right person or not amount of C&S wil make you happy. hmmm. I'm rambling here too. ;) Re-focus...So, sorry you had a rough day and keep your chin up. Each day you WILL get stronger and better. E
Re:Hard Day's Night justmenow: [quote author=Safetykc link=board=1;threadid=1100;start=0#msg7088 date=1065130018">
We had a lot of comfort and security together and it did not bring us happiness. [/quote">
Good point. I guess I didn't think of it that way...
