Re: Issue with boyfriends son Discarded: This is a huge change for the all the children. It will be difficult for awhile and your rules and his rules will have to change some. Both of you will have to come to a compromise on what is allowed and what is not allowed and how your raise your combined family.
I know this is difficult because my fiancee and myself had to go through it and we still go through it. My parenting and her parenting was different in several ways. We had to come up with a plan and set the rules for the combined family. The children see these changes and they will know where they come from, it will take time for them to adjust. Both of you have to have a combined front on this.
I dont' know where your relationship currently is with your BF, but you need to realize where it may end up and that both of you will have to change how you do things some. No 2 people raise their individual families exactly the same, but if both of you have the same basic morals, ideals and how to raise your children it shouldn't be too difficult or stressful to compromise on "the little things".
Your BF will have to change his son's sleeping habits, and yes it is time for his son to be sleeping in his own bed. He needs to get that changed before you try and sleep in his bed. You encroached in his son's space and sleeping (safety net) and his son rebelled on that as would be natural for any child to do.
It does sound like his son likes you though, and thats a bonus : )
Discarded
Re: Issue with boyfriends son Suddenly Single: OK..this sort of hits close to home with me....I agree with Sully to have the boy sleep separately first before you come over. How long have you known the son? Did I miss that part? Personally, I'm not a big fan of SO's sleeping in the same bed with children present. I'm not completely old fashioned but I just think..I don't know...examples to be set...what if you guys dont' work out? YOu don't want a revolving door of people going in and out of their lives....anyway....it sounds like his son does like you but is having a hard time dealing with the change. My bf's son is also 11 and he really likes me...he and his family says they have never seen their son act the way he does with me with anyone before...but there are times where I do feel some anger from him. He openly admits to "hating" mom and wishing she would die but I know he does love her and is just confused. (btw he felt like this for about a year and a 1/2 before I met him)
It is a tough situation...I'm glad that you posted and I hope that things go well for you! I'm interested to read on about this with you!
SS
