Re:for everybody on here - question gumby55555: [quote author=Bocephus link=board=1;threadid=11047;start=0#msg88677 date=1115320874">
Here's what you have to get use to.. Whether there is another person now or not, they want to experience that. That is why they need to be free.. They want to see what is out there. I don't blame my stbxw anymore. I don't take all the blame either though. The lowdown is she was too young to have only experienced me as her only love, mentally and physically.
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Very well said, Bo... I think you've hit the proverbial nail on the head with that one. But Pete, I'd also have to agree with Thinkin... she's got issues you really can't fix and all you can do is work on yourself. It'll take time but Thinkin's right: you've got to look out for yourself first and foremost here! Good luck to you, bro...
Re:for everybody on here - question hudson: Hello pete,
I won't tell you to let go because, for you, at this point that is probably an impossibility. What I will say is that, you will begin the process of letting go naturally. It will come. The feelings of betrayal will subside. The pain, the grief, the sorrow, the loneliness, the fear...all those things will be used and then slowly but surely put away.
I was left, abandoned by my exw. Not by way of an affair but most certainly for greener pastures.
I just want to say, do your best each day to cope and accept the feelings you have. But do your best to prevent them from overtaking your entire life. Find whatever means is best for you to express everything. It helped me to write it all down, everything I was feeling, and then I would read it.
Hang in there. You'll be alright. I know cause I've been there, I assure you.
take care
Re:for everybody on here - question Husky1: I've had similar issues. My ex-wife and I were divorced for only three weeks when I found out she was already dating someone new. I knew that she'd been spending a lot of time with him, but didn't think that there was anything going on. It threw me into a complete tailspin, especially because I felt betrayed by her even though we've been separated since September. It felt like she was announcing to the world how little I had meant to her, despite the fact that we were together for over 11 years.
I couldn't deal with the thoughts of him in my home (she got the condo), sleeping with her in the bed that my parents bought us. What's worse, I have two young daughters, and pretty much feel like I've been replaced by this guy. It's pretty depressing and frustrating to feel like someone else has taken your place in what used to be your family, while I get to go home every night to an empty apartment.
It just doesn't seem right that she get's to be so happy while she's brought so much pain, anger, and lonliness into my world.
Re:for everybody on here - question microtech1: Well I am in a similar situation. My wife left saying she just needed time and space to find herself. Turns out finding yourself means I have another man and I want to see if it works with him before I make up my mind to completely throw you away. I understand the trust that you had for your wife and how devastated you are for what she has done. I am right there with you. The only thing I can say is that try not to let your hurt be taken out on others. It's something that you have to deal with no matter how hard it is. Just remember that if you should ever want another relationship trust is one thing that you will have to have. I know that is hard but remember we can't have what we want without opening ourselves up to being hurt. Right now that seems like an impossibility but overtime it will get easier as the fear goes away. Best of luck.
Re:for everybody on here - question Dunno: Same thing happened to me Pete, only it was HIM.......left for another woman after years of marriage. It isn't always the woman you see. I think you need to TRY to get on in life, knowing that somewhere someday you will again feel the same feelings and regain trust, will just take sometime. She was awfully young, missed out on her entire life so to speak, no matter how much she thought she was in love, could be she wondered about the parts of life she missed? Good luck to you and no, don't do anything so drastic as go to Iraq, take one day at a time.
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