Re:2 dates, and he wants to get serious gumby55555: [quote">
[quote">
I think we should all just go grab a couple of drinks and be disinterested and removed together
[/quote">
Absolutly!
[/quote">
Ya know, for a minute there, I thought you were typing Absolut... ;) Okay, that's it... I'm headed out of town today (in about 10 minutes!) but we're definitely gonna have to do the OC Meet, Episode II now!!! :) We really should hook something up for next Sunday or something...
[quote author=jillieb44 link=board=6;threadid=11053;start=0#msg88956 date=1115389641">
Gumby, could you expound on this please? Does the girl know you're not that into her but she wants to hang out with you anyway?
Just curious, cuz the last guy I dated seemed a bit more into me than him at first, I like to take my time, and then once I thought we had something nice going, he told me that there was no chemistry romantically and he didn't want the same things as me (though his e-mails, IMs, and body language said otherwise).
If you're just not that into a woman, when do you let her know? Before or after you've been intimate?
Trying to get a man's perspective here. This whole dating thing is very new to me.
[/quote">
Hi Jillie,
I think the situation with the guy you went out with was quite extraordinary, actually... in other words, I think that guy was a real schmuck! He had major issues (even more than me, amazingly enough! :) ) and I hope you don't take him to be reflective of most of the guys out there. That being said, I make it a point not to be overly flowery around her... in emails, IMs, calls, etc., I hold myself back and I'm not really overly expressive (which is very counter to my nature). We've had some sort of a conversation about it but it's not been too explicit... we've been going out for about three months now and, although my feelings towards her are very warm, they're decidedly not where they should be to take it to the next level. It's just very comforting to have someone so much into you... btw, in regards to letting them know before or after being intimate... she actually didn't give me a chance to talk about all of that. I usually go slowly (I guess... it's been a while since I entered the dating scene myself!) and she sorta accelerated it on our 2nd (or technically 3rd maybe) date by suggesting we skip the movie and head back to her place, etc. So I didn't really have a chance to talk with her about a lot of these issues before we were intimate although I did raise the issue immediately thereafter (that very night, in fact). I'm probably venturing (wayyy) into the TMI area but I hope that helped give some perspective. I've gotta say, though, that guy you went out with REALLY sounds like a schmuck to me (I think I said that when you first posted, too). Believe me, they're not all like that! :)
Re:2 dates, and he wants to get serious jillieb44: Thanks for your perspective, Gumby. I know that guy had issues that were not my fault.
But your posting just had me wondering that maybe he felt that way all along (though he said otherwise) and I was too dense to see it? Usually my bs meter rings loud and clear, even if I can't quite put my finger on why. And the BS meter didn't go off with this guy.
Maybe what he said was true, that he really wasn't as into me as he let me think.
Yeah, he was a schmuck. I'm glad for the experience though, and if I had to have a first post-ex experience I'm glad it was him (cuz like I said, it was a really good, fun 6 weeks before the dump). Just getting my feet wet. But your relationship sounds like what I'm looking for -- good friendship, fun, some intimacy, but no permanent commitment or strings or moving in, etc.
Guess for now I'll stick with this other guy who will most likely just remain friends. He's adorable, cool and fun and we like to hang together, and his smile just kills me.
Thanks!
Jillie
Re:2 dates, and he wants to get serious cosmochick222: [quote author=jillieb44 link=board=6;threadid=11053;start=0#msg89085 date=1115404992">
Guess for now I'll stick with this other guy who will most likely just remain friends. He's adorable, cool and fun and we like to hang together, and his smile just kills me.
[/quote">
That's probably doctor-prescribed for most of us who are going through a divorce at the moment. Going to the next level is like having one foot in the grave all over again.
Re:2 dates, and he wants to get serious jillieb44: Yeah, Cosmochick, you're probably right. At least I've known this guy for 5+ months now and he hasn't dumped me yet, LOL. I'll take it.
You're right though, I'm not sure I could stand to lose him right now, too.
Jillie
