Can I share my story? ChiefWiggum: Wow, I love this board. Can I share my story? I'll try to make it brief.
0mo Started dating wonderful girl (at the time, I'm 25, she's 21)
6mo Found out she kissed her ex at a party after drinking. She says it's an accident, yada yada, I believe her. (bad thing #1 - duration 10 seconds)
12mo We're engaged
16mo We're married
18mo Cab takes her home drunk. She spent the evening with her friend and a frat-boy at a couple bars. I thought she went shopping. (bad thing #2 - duration 7 hours)
20mo She moves 200 miles away (with her parents) to finish 20 weeks of school
23mo Suprise: she's upset about various things I've done. Eventually sends me a "breakup email." I go into panic mode, drive up to visit her every couple days. I find out she started a relationship with her teacher (my age). Two weeks of coffee-shops, making dinner at his house, movie, walk on beach, one kiss. (bad thing #3 - duration - two weeks)
Sucks, yeah?
I've just highlighted the juicy bits of our relationship. The other 102 weeks or so was actually pretty good. I have [had"> a great relationship with her family. We're both intelligent and reasonable people. We both want kids. She has great "mother" skills. What a bummer.
She's sorry, and I believe her. She wants to stay together. I told her I'd try again if she moved back immediately, which she did not (five weeks have gone by now). Admittidely that was a hard thing for her to do -- basically give up school with only 3 weeks to go, but I guess i want the sacrifice. Maybe when school is over she'll be at my doorstep.
I got a "do it yourself divorce" book and prepared all the forms. Tomorrow we meet (half-way) to go over all the docs. Monday I [plan to"> file them.
I actually want things to work out between us, but I don't see how that can happen now. She doesn't have that teacher anymore, but how could I possibly let her go to the same school as him? She broke off their relationship the day after I found out (at my insisting). I also made a few "exploratory" phone calls to the big university's sexual harrassment office. I told the teacher that if he talks to her again I will provide the office with his name, copies of love emails, phone records, etc.
How naive I was. This is so humiliating. :(
Thanks for listening :)
I know I didn't ask a question, but please comment!
Re:Can I share my story? Husky1: Sounds like your making the right decision, but it doesn't mean that it's any less painful.
She sounds like she's just young and doesn't know what she wants.
Re:Can I share my story? NoEscape: Hi chief--
Your girl sounds confused. If I were you I would let her go...she seems like she has some more things to get out of her system before settling down with you. If that ever happens. You've caught her 3 times---you think those were the only times ? Do you think she would tell you if there were other times ?
Be happy you are not already married to this girl. She doesnt sound like she can be trusted at all.
Your a young together guy.....find someone who can appreciate that, not someone who is cheating on you.
Re:Can I share my story? mine: hi sorry.....i got confused ....about your post on i love you ..but i am not in love with you.........
advice here............on your situation.....
my head has always told me , at the first sign of trouble the damage is done.......a pity my heart does not take any notice of my own advice....
Re:Can I share my story? ChiefWiggum: [quote author=NoEscape link=board=1;threadid=11076;start=0#msg89009 date=1115395978"> You've caught her 3 times---you think those were the only times ? Do you think she would tell you if there were other times ?
[/quote">
Of course, she would never tell me if there were other times. Even if there were no other times, she's already "screwed up" three times too many.
I used to say "screwed up" but a friend said to me, "Why do you say 'screwed up'? She didn't make a mistake. She didn't drop a hammer on her foot. She made decisions. This is who she is."
Thanks for replying,
CW
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