my story..tell me what u think sweetal: Here is the scoop..
I meet my recent ex -girlfriend 10 yrs ago at a music festival and fell hard for her...i was young though and she said we can date when i was 25.. Well it happened ..after years of being friends and watching her failed relationships one after the other ..i thought i would be different..I was different that I ended up lasting 2 years when most of hers end before 8 months...The problem is that I gave up so much of me to be with her..she only wanted things her way...but I loved her so much and wanted to accomodate...I even moved several states away with her to be near her family and to start a new life (we were not married though) . I bought us a car..got a job ..she got a good job..etcetc..things were going well..but then bad thigns started to happen...she always fantasized abou how I was going to make all this money and do all these things...but it took a while to adjust to my new surrondings and she became relentless in her critiscm and judging of me ...then i lost myself...i lost my independance..i was just trying to please her..and she was doing nothing really for me..(she would never admit that) ...also her family started to become so needy that they wanted her to be around them all the time which put a big damper on our relaionship..I tried to work on things with her with a counselor but she gave up and said she was too intellegent for therapists... ??? ...so she started in march 2005 to have sexual conversations with one ex boyfriend who cheated on her 10 years ago..she gave me an ultimatum if I didnt change (like pay off her credit card debt, be more of an obsessive-compulsive house cleaner and other hard to please ideas) ...then she would get rid of me..so after some fights ...she let me go after I moved to a new state, started my life over ...now she says i am a loser who never lived up and who just floundered their life..WHAT!!!!...she is 32 and has always gotten rid of men after their usefulness is over...i feel betrayed ,cheated on in a way and hurt cause i just wanted to work with her and meet halfway..i also lost a friend . I guess i feel used ..I am in the angry phase right now...I feel she doenst know what she is giving up...Its hard finding the independance again..but there were so many signs that she is unrealistic in her requests on a boyfriend..too many ungodly and untimely expectations..now i can hardly talk to her...but she still wants to know what my plans are for the coming months..she wants to keep me in her back pocket..just in case i end up obtaining what she thinks she wants...I just feel fooled and still cry a little and have a hard timewith lonliness.. (sorry if spelling is off here..I am doing this at work ;)....i think i had a tyrant on my hand..who then cheated and lied to me...why do i still crave her....will finding someelse new right now help me forget her??
--sweetal
Re:my story..tell me what u think Destroyed: Ya..you were used and are being used. Badly. End it man. It's none of her business what your plans are. Find yourself and stop being so dependent on someone else. From your post it sounds like she's really got your number and apparently she is right about you. How does that make you feel? Angry I hope. Angry that you let yourself wind up like this. Don't focus that anger on yourself....give it to her, where it belongs. I'm not trying to be cruel...just being the "Smack of Reason". Wake up man, move on. Become who you are supposed to be then laugh when she comes back sniffin around.
Re:my story..tell me what u think BlindOracle: Bury the relationship, grieve and move on. It's all a part of the loss process.
I agree that seeking someone out right now would be a bad call. Even putting yourself into a position where you might casually meet someone could be considered active looking. But, you have to believe it before you enforce your own behaviour. Lifes too short to get burned too many times.
Re:my story..tell me what u think riversandlakes:
Buddy, what relationship was lost? Think about it. This person isnot worth your time. There're bound to be that one person who fit your personality and will not give you hard-to-please ideas. Crap...
imho, it is clearly a case of Good Riddance.
Live on. Stay on-course as yourself. Love comes when it comes; only fools rush in?
Re:my story..tell me what u think sweetal: everybodies advice is really good..it does make me feel better..for some reason i got into this type of relationship of me doing whatever to please .. i do have an issue with pleasing others..i am seeing a therapist which is helping.....i understand not actively pursuing other possbile relationshiops..i am trying to be more social now...
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