Re:question for the women that have broken up Dunno: I have to agree with turning leaf, its much better to deal with earlier rather than waiting to long. Who knows? Perhaps you each both need to go your own ways? She has certainly told you that she wants too. Those tears? If she is the decent person you say, those could be tears because she doesn't really enjoy hurting anyone, least all you. I wish you both luck but say you both should move on.
By the way, in earlier posts you mentioned politics and what have you, well I feel these posts are for free willed people to let out their feelings ect, no one here seems to judge, we try to be friendly and listen :) We are decent people you will find ;)
Re:question for the women that have broken up jillieb44: Sometimes there is no reason. Who knows how/why feelings change? People grow, people change. If you're lucky, your love grows with you.
Let her go. If she's meant to be, she'll come back after she finds what she's looking for.
Jillie
Re:question for the women that have broken up admin: I have removed any comments that relate to politics in this post.
This site is about dealing with breakup and divorce.
If you have a problem with the democratic system I am sure there are other sites that can help deal with THAT issue.
Sorry but political name calling won't be tolerated on this site.
See the Terms of Service!
-- Michael - Site Moderator.
Re:question for the women that have broken up Thinkin: I agree and am sorry for my part in it.
Re:question for the women that have broken up jimloveless: I think you really need to ask yourself this question, Pete.
"Do I want what's best for her, or do I want what's best for me?"
I realize that you think you know what's best for her. I realize the messages she sends you are confusing as all hell. But the best thing you can do is make her NOT feel trapped by giving her space and letting go of all the anger inside of you.
The ONLY chance you have is for her to experience freedom and independance and realize that she isn't missing much. The problem is, there is a chance that she will embrace that independance. Especially if the only man she's ever been with wants to keep her from it.
She needs to live on her own and have enough breathing room to make a choice FOR HERSELF without being influenced by you or her own guilt. If she does decide to come back, think of how much stronger your relationship will be with her. You will have made it through a separation; something not everyone can claim.
if she does not want to come back, you have to accept that she has realized that she is unhappy with her life. The only thing you can do is cowboy up and live on without her, and become a better man. It hurts and it's unfair and it's just total crap, but that's life, man. Take a number... there's plenty of guys just like you and me here that are feeling the same pain.
I hope this helps you out, Pete. I really do want it to work out between the two of you, but I'm afraid your behaviors are going to cause more problems than they will solve. This is not a situation that muscle and persuasive words can fix. It's going to take time, patience, and compassion. You need to learn how to love her without expecting anything back. If you are unable to do that, then the only glimmer of hope for your relationship is going to be gone.
I would call her, if I were you. Be calm and be strong. Tell her you want what's best for her and that you are going to do your best to give her all the space she needs. DO NOT try to convince her of how much you love her. She already knows that. You've made it obvious. She is not so ignorant that she just doesn't see it. Tell her that you expect a decision out of her. Do not give her a time limit, but do not say that you're going to wait as long as it takes, either. Just say 'i need you to make a choice. call me when you've made up your mind'.
Then, you're going to have to stop any attempt to see or talk to her. That is going to be the hardest thing you've ever done, but that's what you have to do. It's all a waiting game set in the land of limbo. But if you truly love her, you will shoulder that burden.
Take my advice with a grain of salt... it's just the way I'm seeing things from what you've shared.
God bless
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