double standards jimloveless: i'm thuroughly convinced that my wife was the queen of double standards. Convince me otherwise; let's do some anger release therapy. I'll start it off:
i worked 40-50 hours per week for 6 years, usually earning more than 85% of our household income. We had no children and I make GOOD money considering the cost of living around this village.
My STBX was a six-year acting student at the local community college. She still does not have her associates degree. She worked part-time and brought home checks that totaled about $150 every two weeks. She also made tips which I rarely saw... she may have shared $100 cash with me over the last year (she had $500 cash in her jockey box the morning she left).
Every once in a while, I would sell something of mine; i.e. computer part, software, etc, AND i also did a little computer support work on the side for people I knew. At one point, I had saved up nearly $500 of that 'extra' money. It had taken me a few months, but I wanted to treat myself to a digital camera. I told her of my plans and she became very upset because I never wanted to share that extra money with her.
I relented and put it in the bank. Then she went shopping and spent $400 in one afternoon.
Here is the one that nearly caused me to leave her. As I said, I worked hard to pay the bills. I could count the sick days I took every year on one hand... and still have a couple fingers left over. She would start a term in school with about 14 to 16 credits, be pretty serious, and then end up 'depressed' after a few weeks and drop at least half of them. She'd stay out until 2-4 AM every night and miss class the next day.
I never understood why I had to work and take life seriously because she wanted a house and a car and to be able to do fun things... acting classes for crying out loud... while it was okay for her to go through the neverending cycle of not growing up. And yes, I did confront her about it; made absolutely no difference.
jeez i want a real woman.
Why is it these are the situations that stick out in my mind more than all the good times we had?
Re:double standards jillieb44: I dunno.
My stbx would tell me he had no money for groceries, kids clothes, and stuff like that yet he went and blew money on stereos (car and house) a new bike, motorcycle, compressor, tractor accessories, yada yada.
Even today, my daughter is in desperate need for summer clothes. We spent ~$15 in Goodwill, and $273 in Wal-Mart (included bras & shoes) and he was aghast at how much it was.
Idiot.
He said he'd pay me back but we'll see. The kid is wearing clothes that are stained and ripped and way too small. Now she'll look nice.
Yes, he makes 4x what I make. And now I just found out he's remodeling the kitchen (I've been gone 6 weeks) and he tore down a wall and half the cabinets. Where is that money coming from??
The divorce papers say he can't take on any new debt, but he paid his attorney with an 'unused' credit card he had.
???
Your ex sounds immature. At least I was trying to get a business off the ground while spending lots of time at home raising our kids so they didn't have to go to daycare.
Jillie
Re:double standards summerparis: I know the double standard thing well. STBX was forever accusing me of mismanaging our money and continually "threatening" to take over managing our finances. My response to that was inevitably: Go ahead, any responsibility that you can take on would be welcome! He would always say that I wasn't "tough" enough to be on the kind of tight budget he wanted us to be on, whereas he had no qualms about spending hundreds and thousands of dollars on himself.
I don't know about your exes, but the "retail therapy" was and is a warning light. Just recently I noticed that the stbx made another big purchase and I was relieved that I didn't have to live with the underlying stress that led to that purchase anymore.
Thank goodness he pays his share of our daughter's expenses and our debts. In the words of a friend of mine, "he's not evil, just a jerk." I just pray that he stays stable enough to continue hold down a job.
Re:double standards Redlady: [quote author=jimloveless link=board=20;threadid=11510;start=0#msg93533 date=1116089270">
jeez i want a real woman.
[/quote">
Jim- I can't say anymore than that. You NEED a real woman. You were used. That's not to say you didn't love her, but you were used. You will find someone that respects and loves you. You deserve that, and you WILL find it.
RL-
Re:double standards jimloveless: thank you, red. i know it, but it always makes me feel better to hear it, too.
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