My shrink is a bad man part 2 2brix: My shrink is a bad man part 2. I may sound like a complainer but this man makes me think about things in a way that is outside the box, way to much. He got me this time. I believe that I have seen almost eveyone on this board use the "they make me so angry" line or something like it. I also believe that virtually all of us have a belief that they (the other side of the relationship) hurt us with their actions. Well I'm about to be branded heritic possibly to be burned at the stake. We each are human beings born to make mistakes and have errors of judgement commited against us. It is encumbant upon each of us to take responsibility for our feelings. Now this may seem like a simple statement on top but it is way deeper when you look outside the box. I said it is our responsibility for a reason. Sure you can be angry with what the so and so has done this week month or year but you can not place the feeling on them. Yes I am going to drag out the I statement. I am angry because you went out and messed around with the ugly snot that lived down the hall from our home. I feel betrayed because you let our family down with your actions and the children feel hurt. Their action can generate the feelings but you own the feeling. Why you ask is this important? Because if you can not take responsibility for the feelings that are negative then you can not feel the responsibility to its fullest for the positive ones. This was vividly pointed out to me by Garth pointing at my work environment. I work on PLC cabinets (industrial controler equipment for pumps or virtually anything). He asked if I felt pride in my work. I responded of coarse I do, I work for one of the best in the business and he says my work will do alright (my boss doesn't compliment anyone so if he says good enough he means it could almost pass for his). Garth then dug that one step deeper and asked how does it make you feel when you finish a job. I couldn't really come up with anything except releived. Not proud. WTF? To look at one of these monsters they appear to be a mess of wires and little boxes humming. I have been told by master electricians that it takes a special (yes giggle all you want I am special and I even drove the short bus) person to create these and do the job right. Thursday I went into work and looked carefully at the last project I built and low and behold I felt pride. All the right angles were square, the wire ways were filled with wire but you couldn't see all sorts of crosses, and the cables going into the PLC were all even. I built this behamouth to not only function but to look good (I like industrial art). It was not my bosses work but mine and I did not have to feel a sense of relief having finished it so it measured up to his standards but I could feel pride because it was up to my standards. Ok so how does this apply to the friendly world of Ojar. If each time you give your feelings away to the others in your life then you by rights can not fully enjoy your achievements. It is sort of like that ying and yang thing everything in our lives will balance eventually. Not trying to sound tright but try the I statement thing because the perspective it brings it simply wonderful. You may not find it right away because of the subtlies but it is like karma it builds with time. So much about my ranting about Garth I will keep telling you in the future he is a bad man cause he makes me think.
