big fat icky man---why did I pick him? Chelle30: So I fell in love with a beautiful man. Good lord women, if you saw him you would too. But under that beauty is a very bad man. I wish i had it in me to write his name, I wish it was allowed. Tall dark and handsome? Yuck, give me goofy, puggy, anything but.
Not only did this man control my life, he called me names, he punched holes in the walls, if broke my vaccum that I got for my birthday (pretty sad when you get excited over a vaccum) he let me know that if I tried to leave him he would get his family (daddy has money) to hire the best lawyers and then to top it all off threatened to take my daughter and run. *Later on he let me know that the last one was a "joke"*
Why did I hate him one minute, love him the next, cry all the time and blame myself for the end of our marriage? WHY THE HELL AM I WORRIED THAT HE WILL DO ALL THIS TO HIS NEW GIRLFRIEND???
someone slap me in the face?! Please?
Re:big fat icky man---why did I pick him? AmyMarie1972: Well I'd slap you for worrying about his new girlfriend.
Well maybe not slap you but have a few words to say.
You sound as though you are going to be so much better out of that situation. The guy sounds like a total jerk.
You have got so much going for you now. You can do what you want when you want to without having to worry about him.
Time for you to begin to do exactly what you want to do and get everything out of life that you want.
Take care
Amy
Re:big fat icky man---why did I pick him? jimloveless: i wan't to wear this mantra on a tee-shirt: funny looking guys ain't so bad
:)
Beauty, to me, is not skin deep. it goes beyond. men can be beautiful. women can be beautiful. songs can be beautiful. sunsetts... oceans... stars...
beauty is where it's at.
attractiveness is another matter altogether. it has no bearing on what kinda person it is you're dealing with.
He sounds to me like he's been spoiled rotten. rich dad? modelesque? temper tantrums? My daddy's gunna do such-and-such? Did he ever progress beyond the mentality of a 2 year old? Be glad that you are away from him... it sounds like he could potentially hurt you. You loved him because that's the way love works. That is the secret to love. IT MAKES NO SENSE. But, at least we can recognize when love is potentially dangerous.
Look at it this way; if you were able to win the attention of a really good looking guy like that, you know that physical attraction isn't going to be an issue for you in the future. look around carefully once you feel ready and take your pick of the liter. there are plenty of good looking, respectful guys out there that have been totally dumped all over by their x-spouses and really want someone to love again. Find the one that is willing to admit he made mistakes, though. He's the one that will work hardest to ensure they don't happen again.
yes, he may get involved with another woman, and maybe she'll get hurt, but that's the way life is: we all take responsibility for our own decisions and the hand life deals us. That's a standard 'leavee' outlook, methinks.
Re:big fat icky man---why did I pick him? sheydp: Wait a minute - why would you have words for her about worrying about the new girlfriend? I do too!!! She happened to be suckered by the same jerk - that is something to hate her for?
Chelle - you are so strong, so wonderfully forgiving and caring. I am so amazed at your caring coming out of that relationship... You are so much better off than most would be - the only slap I will give you is one on the back!!! Congratulations on escaping with your soul intact!!!
Shey
Re:big fat icky man---why did I pick him? Spectrum: Hey, if I hadn't had the foresight to hold off on kids with my ex, it would have been the EXACT same story.
He would tell me thinks to the effect that if I left him he'd make sure daddy's lawyers would take my dog and horse and force them to be sold.... Yadda, yadda, yadda.
And of course when I planned for these contingencies ahead of time by selling said horse to sister prior to filing papers and putting the dog under lock and key at my 'rents house, he laughed it off and told everyone that I was crazy and trying to make him look bad, that he had only been joking.
Yeah, because its so FUNNY when guys look you in the eye and tell you they'll shoot you if you even leave them..... and its so FUNNY when they look you in the eye and tell you they'll take everything that is near and dear away from you if you leave them.
You know what's even funnier?
My ex called me last week for the first time in several months. He wanted to inform me that "he now is making alot of money, has lost 30 lbs, is Mr. Honesty (yeah, caught you in half a dozen lies during the call) and if I could only find it in my heart he would make my dreams come true AGAIN." And only through making him run my typical honesty gauntlet do I learn that the reason he is calling on this particular night is because his gf has moved to Michigan (that very day), where he will be joining her later this summer.
Guys like this never change. They just dress themselves up a little bit better.
Spectrum.
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