Re:No answers!!!!!!!!!! JimB: [quote author=timetobefree link=board=1;threadid=11563;start=0#msg94550 date=1116278621">
I know it is our nature to do so, but I think it is short-sighted to classify all the people in the world into neat little categories. We are all too complex with too much going on in our lives for that to fit nicely. Commitment-phobes, easy-going, etc. I wish it were that easy, but it is not. Perhaps break-ups have everything to do with the person. But perhaps there are extenuating circumstances. Who knows?
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Agreed. As I like to say, "there are two types of people in the world: the type that puts people into categories, and the type that doesn't". ;D
I do think questioning why a person behaves a particular way just makes things unnecessarily difficult. If he won't tell you why he's doing what he's doing, all you can ever do is guess. As r&l said, better to focus on the road ahead.
But I can tell you that you have every right to get mad at how he's treated you. You don't deserve this.
Re:No answers!!!!!!!!!! Jami301: As the creator of this thread and reading all these wonderful, helpful responses I am trying my best to simplify the situation that occurred between the two of us. I am accepting the fact that it wasn't "me", but still not sure what went through his head that created such a kneejerk, sudden reaction to what was a wonderful relationship. I am trying to simplify this in the fact that he simply couldn't 1) communicate his fears of commitment (2 divorces) and 2) feared our success which would have lead to commitment. I've got to remember these are his issues. But the question is does HE KNOW THAT???????????
Re:No answers!!!!!!!!!! mine: he is doing to you ....exactly what he fears , with no foundation...what you will do to him....
simple the closer he gets to you ...the further he will run
Re:No answers!!!!!!!!!! mine: he does know deep down that these are his issues.
but he will explain himself away somwhere ....that you can not be the right one ...otherwise he would deal with these issues............total rubbish
it will make you feel guilty ...what ever. ....and he is justifying to himself...that the relationship does not work....
or will not work...
what he is saying is he does not trust you.....but it is not you he does not trust...it is himself....
you could do anything and it would be wrong
doe not matter ....even if you were right it would be wrong
you probably remind him of his ex wife...,..or something more deep rooted from his past
and when i say remind him of his ex wife...it is not that you do something like her .....
but that you dont....
so he will go away from a great time with you ...and think to himself ...whycould my ex not be like you...hence you remind him of his past ...by just being perfect..the oppisite... to what he has known....you then remind him of his past ...and hey presto ....you cant win...because everything in his past has failed.
and if it is like this they can not realise that you love and hurt as much as them ...
because theya are convinced that you will leave them ...today tomorrow or next year.....and if you can leave them ..how can you possible love them, as much as they love you.....making them or him feel even more insecure about themselfs along the way
