she dosent want me around chillywilly: Well here goes been together 14yrs married 10 in july, 6year old son. She got hurt at work 3yrs ago,been living on my modest check. Finally got disability backpay 2 months ago.weve both been depressed and in a rut no money to go out or get sitter and she was in alot of pain.
We get the money and I start fixing up our house.She loses a ton of weight buys clothes jewelry and such.She starts hanging around this girl who has cheated and lied to everyman shes been with. she would leave soon as I got home from work to go to freinds house or bar.Leaving me to take care of our son and fix house.
Got to the point where she only was there 2 nights a week..I confronted her more than once..said she was finding herself.Said she wanted me to go out with her sometime.But she wouldnt find a sitter said shes from adifferent town and didnt know anyone. So I find the sitter and we go out. Went to her freinds house with mixed copules, I didnt know anyone very well but was enjoying myself. One guy mentioned hed like to see her breasts and she said maybe later. Know I no she was joking. So we went to bar.. she went off flirting and dancing while I sat there. I was hurt and blew up and left alone.
A week later I decided to try going out alone, she got mad when I told her Id be out all night like she does.She asked for a divorce that night. Next day I talked her into a seperation.
Ill admit Ive been in a rut last few years... she changed so fast I couldnt keep up.Ive always been on the jealous side. She would come home from partying and tell me every thing.2 weeks ago she was dirty dancing with a girl at bar so much the band called her on floor by name. Last weekend the band asked her and other girl to go back to motel after to "party". She didnt said she never would. I beleive her but it hurts and I think disrespectful to me and our marriage.
Anyways I moved out a month ago so my son wouldnt have to go through moving.she says shes trying to find herself. Says shes happy this way. She cant go out all the time cause Im not there to watch son.
She gets very angry and defensive if I try to talk abot us.
She says she loves me and this seperation may save our marriage. I know after to talking to our freinds there is wasnt any other guy.
I love her and want her back
limbo sux
How long do I give her or is it already lost
she wont do counseling
Shes kinda cold when I pick up our son
our anniversary is in 6 weeks is that enough time?
really need some help here been through every emotion in last month.
Re:she dosent want me around riversandlakes:
Yes, it's limbo rock. It's the morph, buddy.
She is probably lost. Ever notice how no one can give direct answers, though that might be the most of what you want at this moment. Never say never, perhaps that's God's joke to humankind.
You've been hurt terribly and your marriage is crumbling. Yet do you think a woman who loves and respects the institution will behave as she does? Even by a long shot? No.
Focus on your son, buddy. Get ready. Imho, give her the divorce she wants. Collect the evidence before doing that - that she didn't carry out her part of the marriage bargain. Been injured at work is no excuse for agreeing to show a stranger her breasts, for heaven's sakes.
when they morph, they morph fast - two weeks was my story too. it's up to the personality within, nothing else. they allowed it to happen. no one, not even the parents (her mom told me if after all the words, she still decides to go ahead, even death won't do her justice), could change her mind.
she did die.
Re:she dosent want me around hardened_heart1970: yes it is limbo, and it hurts. come on ojar, and help him out alttile, hes my friend from the same town, and he need more guidance than i can give right now, and how many people have went through this to come out the other side being better married?
thanks everyone
Re:she dosent want me around amola: chilly....
first off, welcome to ojar...sorry that you had to come here, but glad that smo-kin could guide you in our direction.
sounds like you are in a horrible situation....and i don't really know what advice to give you other than to focus on your son right now. he is going to suffer from this....do what you can to make sure that he is taken care of and to make sure that he understands that none of this is his fault. i have a 5 1/2 year old daughter that blames herself for our divorce, and it's horrible to say the least....
stick around, keep posting, and read other people's stories. sometimes just knowing that you're not the only one can be the best help at times like these....
hang in there!
:)
amola
Re:she dosent want me around sourpuss: hang in there, it gets better. take care of yourself & your child. you can't change her.
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