Re:What's the "Dating" thread for? - avoid if needed :) jen: Twg~
The point of what is appropriate comes up periodically on this board and because we are a diverse group of people on this board, there are going to be disagreements about threads, posts, pics, etc and what is "appropriate". It is inevitable. My personal opinion as to what is appropriate or not - I think that it is helpful that we can have uncensored discussions about just about anything (obviously without engaging in personal attacks, name calling, etc.)
I choose which threads to participate in. Some I participate in just for fun and some because there are serious issues in the topics that are being joked around about.
I think that the great majority of us agree that we are here at this site to get support, information and encouragement as we navigate the divorce process and one of those realities is becoming single again and it scares the he!! out of most of us. The fact that people do make both friendship and occasional romantic connections here is because we do share a large part of ourselves with one another. And, part of making that connection, is engaging in dialogue and I don't have a problem with the flirtatious banter.
The pics thread, in general, has been an interesting phenomena to me. To have a face to go with the name has been nice. It has personalized the dialogue that we have. But, one of the things that made this a safe place for me initially was anonymity. I think there is a balance in there somewhere. (*mtmo* hedging on this one)
I don't think there is anything wrong with giving or receiving compliments about the pictures and in general, I don't think the intention of anyone is to post a picture simply for the purpose of being complimented. And, if it is the intention, then in some way that person is getting what they need from the board. As long as it doesn't hurt anyone else, I don't see the harm. As far as the motorcycle pic, I don't know what the intention of the poster was and though it was probably not the most appropriate type of picture for this board, it did not offend me at all.
my long winded 2 cents on this monday morning...
mtmo
Re:What's the "Dating" thread for? - avoid if needed :) stupify: i agree with CoryL totally....
i think there is a line forming in the sand.... people like myself and BBH and others, who are comfortable with who we are and post things that may offend... i think it is ridiculous.. first we were asked to make sure we posted it in the right section, and now in the correct sections it is still offending people?????? this is ridiculous, and i tried to ignore these posts, but im keeping myself in check for BBH on something else, and i can only contain so much!! come on people this is an adult website, the girl was hot a$$ he11... but she was not naked, and she wasnt even that reavealing....its all just a jealousy issue, with people who dont like the way they look, so they have to pick on the good looking ones....
Re:What's the "Dating" thread for? - avoid if needed :) teacherwriterguy: To be honest, I raised the questions not really about one picture but because I think it's at least worth doing a little gut-check about why people come to the board, what we want, and what we get from it.
I think getting an ego boost from a picture is fine - I think plenty of us do it in other ways too. Why does anyone share anything on the board? They share it to be heard and to have someone affirm them or at least listen to them - and who in the world doesn't respond to people who seem to appreciate some quality in them?
I do raise an eyebrow when the first participation into Ojar (and it's happened a few times) is a picture and a joke about availability - but that's just me.
Like mtmo, there are threads I'll visit for various purposes, and ones I do avoid - either because it's not where I am emotionally at the moment or just out of lack of interest.
I guess my only concern is to be honest about yourself as you approach this site - and that's what concerns me if I notice someone come on and their first foray into the board is not to ask for support but to begin flirting with someone. It'd raise a red flag for me.
As I said, I think that emotional bonds and connections can form here, romantic, friendly, and otherwise - and I actually think that's a value of the place for me. If I hadn't met some of the Ojar people in real life, this wouldn't be as meaningful for me.
And I actually think that the photos impact that - when people are "anonymous", which we are to an extent without a picture, it's harder to form a bond and a connection. For some people, that's perfect - I don't know that everyone comes to Ojar looking for real connections - some people come for anonymity. And sometimes those values change. Seeing pictures made some of you guys real for me - and then seeing those faces in Chicago it was a shock of recognition - seeing faces I already knew for the first time.
twg
Re:What's the "Dating" thread for? - avoid if needed :) Shanna: I didn't enter this thread to discuss a picture. Just to answer the Qs that TWG asked. Is what I said making me take sides?
Re:What's the "Dating" thread for? - avoid if needed :) Cizzler: [quote author=stupify link=board=6;threadid=11590;start=15#msg94212 date=1116254487">
i agree with CoryL totally....
i think there is a line forming in the sand.... people like myself and BBH and others, who are comfortable with who we are and post things that may offend... i think it is ridiculous.. first we were asked to make sure we posted it in the right section, and now in the correct sections it is still offending people?????? this is ridiculous, and i tried to ignore these posts, but im keeping myself in check for BBH on something else, and i can only contain so much!! come on people this is an adult website, the girl was hot a$$ he11... but she was not naked, and she wasnt even that reavealing....its all just a jealousy issue, with people who dont like the way they look, so they have to pick on the good looking ones....
[/quote">
Amen, sistah!!
Click More for the next page.
