Re:Disbelief charmed: Well, it felt condescending LOL Maybe in a month I'll "sense" something different. Maybe I won't give a damn LOL
Re:Disbelief hardened_heart1970: hi, and sorry to hear the situation. i know this probably isnt the answer, but just remember that if they done it once, they will probablyt do it again. im at the 8 month mark, and it does get better. alot better, not yet 100% but getting closer every week. hang in there, we all deserve better, and when the grass turns brown instead of green, they will regret it. good luck
Re:Disbelief ChiefWiggum: charmed,
I'm happy to hear you are not in a relationship with a lying cheater. My ex girlfriend (from many years ago) recently dumped her boyfriend for lying about something that really wasn't a big deal. I was so impressed. I envied the self-confidence and self-respect she had to make such a decision. You can imagine what she would have done if he was lying and cheating...
If you decide to listen to him (in letters, phone, etc.) you should remember that he is going to blame everything on you -- maybe just inside him or maybe in the words he uses. So don't get so worked up about the words he uses. Don't buy an arugment of "if you did xyz I wouldn't have seen the stripper and our relationship would have worked." My stbx used that on me. BS you cheater!
I didn't think his last message was condescending. I think he's a jerk for not apologizing. I also think "perogative" is a jerkball word to use. And you know what? Even if he was being condescending, so the heck what! He can be condescending, mean, unfaithful, jerkball, evil, smelly, ugly, etc. etc... it doesn't matter to you anymore because you're not with this loser.
I know it's tough to see your hopes and vision of the future destroyed. I'm experiencing this now. But thank goodness you found out who this guy is -- a lying cheater -- now instead of later after you had kids.
Good luck,
CW
Santa Barbara, CA
Re:Disbelief slowlearner: [quote author=charmed link=board=1;threadid=12020;start=0#msg99286 date=1117046750">
"Hurting you is not something I enjoy. I know you can never forget what has happened. I will not ask for forgiveness. If it is something you want to do, do so. If I am not warranted forgiveness that is certainly your prerogative.
Is it me or do you find this condescending in light of HIS wrong-doings? I don't even "sense" human emotion. There was NO reference to his appreciation of our time together, what I ever meant to him and NO "I'm sorry". This was at the end of his letter after placing blame on me more or less for his unhappiness and what led him to infidelity. Maybe it's just me :o
[/quote">
This is very condescending, He is giving you permission to forgive him. If you choose not to, it's your fault. I'd tell him to go f*ck himself. He's not even sorry!
Re:Disbelief charmed: slowlearner, I took it just the way you said.
NOTHING was mentioned about the good memories, what I offered him. NO appreciation or thank yous. Everything was "negative" towards me and I did take it that he was giving me permission to forgive him and if I didn't "so what".
Click More for the next page.
