Re:Disbelief charmed: Have any of you contacted the "other" person? If so, did it backfire? Would you do it again? What were the results?
Re:Disbelief ChiefWiggum: I emailed the other guy and told him (a teacher) if he contacted my wife again (hi student) I would give his name to the sexual harrassment office. He apologize and said he didnt know she was married. It was nice to see the apology, but I can't say it made me feel any better. It sure pissed of my stbxw.
CW
Re:Disbelief charmed: In your case CW I can see why you emailed the teacher. Him being a teacher could cause lots of problems all around.
Re:Disbelief francesca: Dear Charmed,
I just wanted to address something that strikes me here about relationships. I don't understand, if all of these problems existed, i.e. sex, etc., then why didn't he speak up as they happened so as to address them? I don't know if this is a male-thing to do. I'm sorry guys! I was burned in a similar way in my marriage. My husband never told me he was unhappy, never showed the 'signs', never tried to talk it out like two adults. What a waste! How could you as a human being NOT express what you are feeling toward the other person? How do you let that slide? What's the fear? According to him, he didn't want to ruffle any feathers. Oh, and he also tried to lay blame on me by saying I was too sensitive to handle anything so he withheld any negative feelings against me, which only harbored and festered into complete anger against me.
I experienced a man blaming me for things during most of our marriage...things like the lack of closeness to his family. Isn't that something you would take responsibility for? I'm very close to mine....i'd never let someone intrude on that part of my life nor would I cast blame on some other person. Why don't people own up? I realize it takes a very strong person to admit to mistakes.
Sorry, went into venting mode there! I'm just really feeling that your b/f has a lot of growing up to do. One of the best things about being with another person is their honesty. Perhaps there was some of that present in your initial connection. He didn't show any respect by placing the blame on you, and that is HIS problem.
i don't know if I helped but I can certainly understand how you're feeling through my own experience. i hope it all works out for you and wish you the best!!!!
Re:Disbelief charmed: Hi Francesca,
Thank you for your responses. It helps to know someone can relate.
The funny thing is that my bf seemed happy, loving, gave me beautiful cards, flowers, cooked for me, etc. UNTIL he entered the strip club and it was then he claimed to be unhappy. The few things he mentioned that caused him to be unhappy would have been so easy to resolve, but he NEVER mentioned any. We had a solid foundation to build on and any relationship will have ebbs and flows. He said we "fit", but not close enough. In my opinion if you have a solid foundation you work out problems and merge closer to one another. Some people truly aren't good matches, but when you have so much to build on I cannot comprehend one leaving the relationship for such BS.
Thank you for the good wishes and I also wish you the best :D
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