The what if's and if only's jt5639: I've been doing better lately - I know that...but I'm still not letting go, still hanging on to hope, still asking myself if I could have done something more. Like today, I keep feeling like there must be something I could have said - he was so confused and I just gave him time to figure out what he wanted. Now part of me wishes I had shoke sense into him, told him to have faith in us, whatever - anything. I did do a last attempt about 2 months after the fact - now I think maybe that was too late. I know there is no point in this. I want to feel that I did all I could do so that I can move on. He was just so hopeless towards the end of our relationship...it was so hard to argue for love and us with that much hopelessness being thrown at me. I'm just so very sad that he didn't even try. Does anyone have any help for me or thoughts?
Re:The what if's and if only's voidinside: I've been at the receiving end of that hoplessness, and even I'm not sure if I did everything I could for my relationship, but I realize that I need to move on and focus on myself and my kids. The tough part for me is trying to maintain the 'no contact' rule, but it's impossible at this time, and makes it extremely difficult for me.
Hope this helps!
Re:The what if's and if only's reck: I think we all look back and try to think what we could have done to avoid what happened. In my case it would have been not reacting to being lied to, sweeping them under the carpet, but even with hindsight i dont think i could.
Re:The what if's and if only's LostTeacher: this is my biggest problem.... the "what if's".
i think it's like a curse word, because i go through this all the time in my mind, and there is absolutely nothing i can do about it.
what i have come to figure out is this.....if you have to try to convince the other person to love you, they don't deserve your love. if you have to try to talk the other person into leaving, you should be the one to leave.
because if there is real, true love there.... than that love should be worth fighting for....fighting for every last breath. and if that love is not there, then it is not worth anymore of your effort, or the "what if's".
*man...wish that i could follow my own advice*
Re:The what if's and if only's jt5639: [quote author=LostTeacher link=board=20;threadid=12077;start=0#msg98435 date=1116965438">
.if you have to try to convince the other person to love you, they don't deserve your love. [/quote">
I've been telling myself this - that I don't want someone who I have to convince to stay with me, I don't want someone who doesn't trust the relationship enough to see where it would take us. I guess it all comes down to the fact that you can't control anyone but yourself, so I just have to accept that I really could not have done anything to have kept him from leaving. But there's still a difference between accepting that and wanting to think you did all you could, you know.
Yes - I wish I would take my own advice too.
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