and so it begins.... Chelle30: So, I was in a good place last night...you know where the divorce and hurt and anger slip to the back of your mind and you almost forget for a few minutes, when my stbx calls to ask real nicely if we can extend the court date (tomorrow) for another week, 'cause he needs to get things in order. Let me tell you, he has had almost a year to get them in order. I am to the point where I want all this to end, I want it in the past and I really want to start healing. So my lawyer calls today to let me know that his sneaky lawyer went to the courts and got his week...and then 2 hours after that, his papers showed up at my lawyers. He keeps calling me bitter, stupid, and countless other names. How do you deal with that? I thought that when the other half got a new gf, they were supposed to ease yp, but he has come on with a vengence. I lived for 6 years with an abusive man, and I thought by getting out of the marriage it would stop, but it seems that I have just given him more and more to attack.
When he has our daughter, he won't take my calls, and when I have her, he calls almost daily. He says he wants to talk to her, then gets on the phone with me and starts horrible conversations, that unfortunately, half the time my daughter witnesses. Plus his new gf is standing right there listening. He is being so mean and nasty that I have no idea how to fight it.
I think what is hurting the most right now is not that our marriage is almost over, but that this man, that I loved and that I thought loved me can do horrible just-plain-mean things.
Some of my stuff is still in our house, little things that have no meaning or value to him, like my baby blanket that my daughter used to use, xmas ornaments that I made as a kid, he won't let me have until they have been "appraised" Can you believe that? How do you deal with that?
Re:and so it begins.... jjbswest: its been awhile since i have been on here. wanted to see what has been going on with people, but most people i knew on here aren't here anymore. anyway, this is exactly what my ex did and has been doing. after months i figured out what he was doing. when he is calling and being nice, she isn't around. when he is calling and being a jerk, she is around and is hearing what he is saying to you. when he does these things, he is making her believe the stuff he tells her about you. I just told mine that if he couldn't talk to me with respect, then don't be calling. You don't have to take his calls. When he called me and started being mean, i would hang up on him. Finally, he stopped being so mean to me. It's not nice all the time. I can feel how tense he is when he calls and she is with him. I can tell in his voice that she is there. But, you just have to tell him that you won't talk to him anymore while he is treating you that way. And stand by what you say.
Re:and so it begins.... Chelle30: I'll definately try that, but that man knows how to push all my buttons...which one to make me cry, which one to make me small, which one to make me angry....
I just wish that I could do the same to him, the big jerk!!!
Thank you for the advice and I'm sorry that your old friends are not on anymore!
Chelle
