Re:We might not be divorcing hudson: One of the nice things about my new relationship is, I didn't have to talk myself into it, I feel more ready than that. Also, I don't feel like a shell of a person all the time, just for brief moments.
I'm not escaping into this new relationship, it's very real to me, and very new.
Earlier bg, you said something like "your fling with this other guy meant nothing" in regards to the extramarital thing you were involved in. For me, this new relationship means a lot to me right now...
Although, in all fairness, I might see it as more insignificant were my ex to suddenly return and want to work on things....but that is not going to happen, period!
Re:We might not be divorcing browngreen: It's good to be aware of that, Blazin'.
I mean, at the time, I felt the short term thing I had was more meaningful than it really was, but like I said, he was moving away and I knew we would never be able to really add up to much since I don't do long distance.
I'm glad this new one feels right, and that you're able to give some of yourself.
So, to give you some advice a wise friend of mine has been giving to me-- take it slowly. Let it unfold as you have been, be honest, and keep the lines of communcation open.
AG
Re:We might not be divorcing jillieb44: I guess if my ex asked me straight out if I slept with another man I wouldn't lie, as all signs pointed to no reconciliation and divorce, and I did make sure he was disease free and we used a condom (yeah, it was only once, LOL).
But I wouldn't sit him down and tell him there's something you should know, no.
Jillie
Re:We might not be divorcing jillieb44: Blazin, my ex-new man meant a lot to me at the time; I thought feelings were reciprocated; I took things slowly until I was sure, and then he dumped me. But it's over, and I harbor no anger towards the man, nor do I wish we'd get back together. It was nice while it lasted, but definitely over.
I don't think I can just do the casual fling thing either.
Jillie
Re:We might not be divorcing browngreen: Mine wasn't a casual fling either. I mean, I knew he was leaving and he knew I am still married, so, there was only so much seriousness that could come about. But it wasn't like a one-nighter with a stranger or something weird. I know him enough to at least care about him on a base level. I couldn't sleep with just anyone.
Also,I thought my H and I were irrevocably apart. I mean, that is what he said and agreed to in the D paperwork. This other man was interested in me and was always decent and respectful for months before I decided maybe he could help me feel like I was moving on.
Live and learn.
But I think I"ll wait for my H to ask me about it before I tell him. However, if he doesn't ask in say, 2 weeks of contact with me, I'm going to have to tell him.
I just pray that I can do it with grace, and that he gets the message that the only good it did me was confirm my love for him and my desire to move on with him.
BG
